#he's a good man. a real goof man<3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[zendayacolemann]

He was a good dad. And I don't think he knew that. I think if he would've known how good he was at stuff he didn't really care about being good at, he... I don't think he would've done what he... And I wish I would've told him. I wish I would've told him more.

JASON SUDEIKIS TED LASSO (2020–2023)

[blkkizzat]

🗂️—𝙲𝙰𝚂𝙴 𝟶𝟶𝟻........... THE BIG BROTHER ......filed under the that's not my jjk man series

visitor log: crazed with quarantine boredom, you can't help but to tease your naive lil' roommate—choso kamo—but you'll know when to stop before it goes too far—or have you already let the real choso in?

classifications: huge mommy kinks, calls reader mommy, dommy mommy!reader, affectionate cruelty/cuteness aggression, manipulative reader, begging, teasing, virgin, creampies, masturbation, panty theft/sniffing/munching, cunalingus, pussy drunk choso, dumbification, slight mentions of menophilia, mentions of aged-up yuji and todo (they give choso “the talk” lmfao).

incidents: 6.9k

You felt bad about this.

You really did. 

Although apparently not enough to actually keep you from teasing your half-cursed roommate, pushing him to the point where moisture shines in his wide, puppy-like eyes.

Standing behind the door of your apartment, you pretend you don’t know the Choso before you is not actually a doppelgänger—so convincingly, in fact, that Choso has even begun to question his own sense of self. 

“B-But, b-but—I t-think, ah no! I promise it’s really me. I can’t be the curse! I-I mean—wait, I am a curse—but only half! D-Don’t you recognize me??”

Worry edges Choso’s voice while his bottom lip quivers.

Damn, Choso just looks too cute, all forlorn and pouty. You can barely stand it.

“Nah, sounds like you’re copping pleas to me, doppelgänger.”

You nearly give yourself away too, stifling a small mewl from watching his adorable lil’ face crumble, blinking back tears. 

While you didn’t intend to make him cry, your pussy is now crying too. Moisture dampening your panties from finally releasing some of the twisted cuteness aggression you’ve been bottling up for so long.

Your half-curse roommate was just too baby-girl for his own damned good—how could you possibly resist toying with him a little?

With that, you decide to take things up a notch.

“Um, are you sure you’re who you say you are? Because my boyfriend, Choso, is already home!”

“B-B-BOY-F-F-FRIEND?!”

Choso’s eyes nearly popped out of his skull, blushing furiously and practically choking on the word itself.

EEEEE! Too precious! 

You quickly cup your hand over your mouth hoping he couldn’t hear your giggles through the door.

Truthfully, you and Choso were just roommates.

Neither of you had come close to crossing any lines in the 10 months you’ve lived together. Your cohabitation has been entirely platonic thus far—to your dismay. 

Choso was unbelievably sexy and it makes him even sexier knowing how oblivious he was to it. However, Choso’s obliviousness is a problem in itself. Every subtle hint you drop seems to go right over his head. He was still so new to the ways of living as an everyday human and thus he interpreted everything in the most innocently unaware way possible.

You had no idea if Choso actually had any romantic inclinations towards you, but watching him get all flustered at the thought of dating you then cheesin’ like a goof only encourages the game you’re playing to continue.

You’d end this charade soon—you promise—but you just needed to mess with him a bit more. He’d been gone for almost two weeks, temporarily staying with Yuji back in the Jujutsu High dorms. You’ve been so lonely at home without him, which of course you use to justify your teasing by saying how he owed you this tiny bit of entertainment.

And it's entertaining as hell.

“You mean you don’t even know that Choso and I have been dating for 3 months!? You’re a horrible doppelgänger, you know that? I thought you’d be more convincing than this.”

On the other side of the door Choso was close to losing his entire shit. He had no idea how to process any of this information—unequivocally not having the slightest clue you’re purely fucking with him.

“D-Dating!? 3 m-months!?!”

Choso chews on his lip, trying to churn his exhausted thoughts together. 

When did this happen!? 

He’d been away hunting doppelgänger curses with Yuji practically non-stop for 2 weeks, he’s exhausted from the sheer number of doppels they exterminated and can’t think straight. He didn’t expect to come home to you accusing him of being one—let alone calling him your boyfriend!

Boyfriend. 

That title continued to pinball in Choso’s mind. 

He wanted to get closer to you for such a long time too, but didn’t know how exactly to go about it, all the social aspects of humanity being brand new to him—especially dating.

Not like he’d ever thought about living a normal life or dating living as a curse. Not until he started working for Jujutsu Tech and Yuji suggested he try living a bit more independently. You, one of the many assistant managers and Yuji’s friend, just happened to be in need of a roommate at the time. Being familiar with the Jujutsu world, you weren’t put off by him being a half-curse, quite the opposite. You’d been so helpful, always cheerful and kind, guiding him through any rough patches and helping him in a way similar to how Yuji does.

Yet it didn’t take long for Choso to realize he felt things about you he’d never experienced with anyone else, not even his brothers. 

The desire to constantly be around you and protect you was similar to how he felt about Yuji but with you it just didn’t stop there. Choso wanted to touch you, he wanted to hold you and he desperately wanted to be held by you too. 

Simultaneous to his budding affections for you—Choso realized the persistent pattern of his cock stiffening terribly when you’d casually roam around the apartment in your pjs. PJs that consisted of curve-clinging bottoms and braless crop-tops that would show the exact outline of your pussyprint along with every slight jiggle of tiddy from your movements.

Confused, Choso immediately went to Yuji with his problem—divulging everything. 

It took about 10 minutes for Yuji and Todo (who happened to be with Yuji at the time) to stop laughing before Yuji finally explained that it was a perfectly normal reaction to seeing a pretty girl dressed in so little. 

“Ha! Damn, seeing that juicy ass in tiny shorts everyday? You are truly blessed brother.”

Choso frowned, going silent. 

He secretly hated when Todo referred to him as brother—only him and Yuji were brothers. 

Moreover, the sinister urge to release piercing blood right through Todo’s tiny peanut head had startled Choso. Choso wasn’t one quick to anger and Todo’s comment wasn’t a threat or an insult by any means—but Choso still didn’t like it, even if he agreed with the sentiment. The last thing he wanted you to do, even to his own torment, was to cover up.

Although admittedly, Choso had seen lots of beautiful women wearing even less on the social media apps Yuji had him download. However, the faint notions of attraction were never as intense as when he was around you.

Not even close.

He didn’t know what to do about that. 

Especially after Yuji had warned Choso that it would be inappropriate to let you see any of the many erections Choso got while in your presence. Continuing to say that unless you felt the same way, it would make you uncomfortable and the only reason you did dress that way around him in the first place is because you are comfortable with him.

Todo on the other hand had a different approach and suggested to Choso he “accidentally” drop his towel in front of you after getting out of the shower.

Face red with embarrassment, Choso pointedly ignored that advice.

Making you uncomfortable was the last thing Choso wanted to risk. 

Choso didn’t want to be any more of a burden to you after you had so graciously helped him over these past months, so he never made any of his affections for you known and certainly wouldn’t be able to recognize if you felt the same way. 

Consequently, he would always quickly excuse himself to the bathroom to take care of the issue, anytime it happened to ‘pop up’. 

Literally. 

He was only glad right now that he couldn’t see you in them calling him your boyfriend or he would surely get hard, hell he was starting to regardless.

Choso is thoroughly perplexed, yet his next question is so innocent you nearly moan out from the sheer cluelessness of it all.

“A-A—Are we really dating—y-you and I? I-I mean, you actually wanted to d-date someone like me?”

Okay, now.

Now would be the perfect time to come clean. 

You’d had your fun right?

You could tell he was starting to take this seriously and it wouldn’t be harmless for much longer if you kept this up. 

You honestly don’t even know what’s gotten into you. This sudden wave of aggression feels out of character for you. You’ve never had any inclination to be so pushy or dominant—in fact, you’ve been referred to as a pillow princess in past relationships.

Yet with Choso it was different and had been since the beginning. The urge to encourage him felt so natural—manifesting as a strange bubbling in your chest whenever he had a doleful look of wide-eyed wonderment, head tilted slightly to the side from processing new information. 

God, it was a mixture of pride, joy and endearment that intensified in such a way you just wanted to make him cry—and it’s the exact same look he has right now you note gazing out of the peephole. 

Your legs rub together, but the shifting of your thighs wasn’t near enough stimulation for your repressed lust. You resisted the compulsions that would sprout to tease or taunt him for far too long and it was all spilling out now.

“Of course, we are Cho! Well me and the real Choso—you’re clearly just a doppelgänger or you wouldn’t be asking your girlfriend that.”

You are the absolute worst. 

“Oh, r-right…”

Choso stops, trailing off mid-sentence when he is finally hit with a revelation. 

But if you two were in fact dating did that mean—

Choso swallows hard, recalling all the accounts Yuji and Todo sent him full of videos (twitter porn) of what two people do together when they ‘date’. Yuji also told him though, if he’d go out to bars with him and Todo he’d likely have no issue finding a girl who’d also do it with him—even if they weren’t dating.

But Choso declined. 

He wasn't interested in doing those things with anyone else—he only wanted to do those things with you.

—wait but….could he really *gulps* with you?

Choso breaks into a anxious sweat.

The problem in his pants had been getting worse lately. To the point he had been excusing himself twice a night to settle down his cock and would try to sit on the furthest end of the sofa during movie nights with a pillow over his crotch. 

Although to his torturous agony, somehow you always seemed to find your way over to his side. By the end of the movie you’d be curled up to him with your head on the pillow in his lap over his erection that would have been throbbing all the while. 

But dating?

Were you actually dating all this time and he’d been too clueless to recognize it? 

Choso didn’t know how it started or what all it entailed but he definitely felt like the worst boyfriend in the world for not realizing it sooner! 

He needed to talk to you about that and apologize—but first he needed to convince you it was actually him.

“B-But roomie—please, it’s really me!”

You smirk, getting another mischievous idea.

Roomie, eh? Heehee.

You and Choso call each other ‘roomie’ in the same affectionate way close friends would call each other ‘bestie’—but this too you would use against him as you’re too far on a roll to stop now.

“Roomie?! Nah, my boyfriend Choso only calls me Mommy.”

“MA-MA-MOMMY!?!”

Choso grabs his chest over his heart, and begins muttering something you can’t quiet here, prompting you to consider if a part of his brain has shut down. 

Well, a piece of yours surely did.

All your thoughts are now controlled by the growing ache between your thighs.

You wish you could tackle him to the ground and ride him until he can't cum anymore and his pleas for you to stop melt into submissive whimpers as your pussy would continue to milk him.

While you might not have confirmation if Choso has feelings for you, you can plainly see he’s not repulsed by it at least.

Even so, intrusive pessimistic thoughts creep in, making you wonder if you’re simply too much for him. He’s already been so jumpy around you lately—more than usual—to the point where you worry you might be making him uncomfortable.

Maybe you haven’t been as good with keeping your cruel urges suppressed as you think?

Choso has been keeping a bit more distance too whenever you try to get too close. You know he’s still so naive to the ways of the world, and even if you are teasing him now, the last thing you want is to make him feel taken advantage of.

After all, you genuinely consider both him and Yuji friends—especially since letting Choso stay with you was originally a favor to Yuji.

However, a part of you secretly thinks Yuji may have had some vendetta against you—because why else would he have gifted his older brother those gray sweatpants and black compression tees for xmas? 

Choso didn’t wear underwear often either, especially when around the house—and a person would have to be blind not to see how fat his cock was just flaccid against his thighs.

So yeah, you did start wearing less and less around him, the boy shorts you wore a few weeks ago might as well have been panties from how far they rode up your crack to let the bottom of your ass cheeks poke out of them.

But Choso, even with that, still wouldn’t look your way for too long. 

You sigh.

Alright you had your fun, you’d—

“I-I’m real, I know how to p-prove it!”

Seconds away from stepping back to open the door and barrier, you're speechless as your eyes widen with recognition. The solid blue and tan print cotton material Choso tearfully pulls from his sleeve definitely belong to you.

YOUR RILAKKUMA PERIOD PANTIES!?

“A f-fake Choso wouldn’t have t-these!”

The words spill out of his lips as he looks down at his feet in shame.

Your eyes haven’t dilated from the size of saucers as Choso reveals undeniable proof that he’s the real deal. How else would he have found those heavily soiled teddy bear granny panties you’d hidden so well at the bottom of the laundry basket? You’d stashed them there weeks ago, right before he came home earlier than expected—just before you could wash them. 

You hadn’t even realized they were missing!

*Sniff* “M’s-so s-sorry M-Mommy, I-I know i-tt’s wrong—j-just miss you s’much when *sniff* m’gone for so l-long… n’these smell s’much like you n’have your b-blood on ‘em a-and—”

Is this real life!?

Choso’s mournful apologies are blubbering out of him a mile a minute but your thoughts go to hell at the debauched truth. Taking shallow breaths, you’re mindlessly caressing the pads of your fingers over your clothed cunt, eager to relieve any of the ache.

“—Uh—um, C-Choso, baby…?”

Even though he’s still rambling, your voice quiets him.

“Y-yeah, Mommy?”

Fuck! 

The hand stroking over your pussy urgently fumbles under the waistband of your shorts and panties to rub on your clit directly now.

He couldn’t just call you Mommy like this and expect you not to be soaked! (Even if it’s your fault he is).

Silently praying that Choso couldn’t hear the soft clicking of your fingers sliding inside your drooling folds to play with your slippery lil’ bud.

Yeah, you were horrible alright—yet you were also horny as hell. 

An unexpected turn of events for sure, but there’s no way you couldn’t see this through now. Especially now that he was full on calling you ‘Mommy’ and had just admitted to stealing your panties! 

So he’d liked you all this time after all?! 

Finding out more was becoming an essential need akin to breathing air.

“T-Tell Mommy something, yeah Cho baby? W-What exactly do you do with Mommy’s panties?”

Looking at his feet, the embarrassment on Choso’s face speaks for itself as he turns his back to the door in shame.

Likewise, you peel yourself from behind the door, leaning against the adjacent wall for additional support as your other hand hurriedly pushes up your top to tweak at your nipples. 

Getting off on the mere mental image of his chagrin and the pitiful whimpers you can hear through the door as Choso starts explaining through his tearful sobs his filthy thieving actions.

Shit—he’s such a horney little freak about it too!

Choso reluctantly admits that due to his heightened senses of being a half-curse he can always smell when you’re bleeding (Yuji also had to assure him there was nothing wrong with you).

Once he’d discovered the pair you left in the basket, Choso couldn’t help himself. 

And they weren’t the first pair he’d taken either. 

Choso had pilfered many sets of your undies to sniff while he hurriedly jerked his cock. Admitting to you sometimes just being around you for too long causes him to get hard. He’d rush to the bathroom and dig through your laundry, scouring for a pair of your panties or thongs like a mad man before resting them directly over his lips and nose. Finally at ease, the bathroom was his refuge and Choso ultimately would bathe his senses in your scent more than he would use the bathroom to actually bathe his body. 

Never lasting too long, Choso would cum all over his trembling hands from perversely sniffing and tonguing down the dirtied gusset of your panties.

If there were times Choso thought he was being too noisy, he’d stuff them in his mouth entirely. Sucking out the sweet tang of your cunt from the fibers and imagining it was your actual pussy his mouth was full of instead. 

Being the considerate roomie he is though, Choso would always clean them. Your panties would be returned to you, washed and folded and placed in your drawer before you could notice them missing.

Near hyperventilating now, Choso’s face is saturated in tears. He's so scared of your reaction. Surely, even if you two were dating you’d still hate him for the huge violation of privacy.

But if he’d known you were dating before, he’d have at least asked you for permission! 

“...M-M-Mommy—are you mad?”

Mad? 

Well you were madly finger popping your pussy to his depraved as fuck confession, if that counted as mad.

By the end of his perverse admission of guilt, you had slid all the way down to the floor. Trying to bite back cries as you are two fingers deep into your cunt. Pumping your soaked digits in and out of your pussy. No longer able to hold back, you are moaning aloud. 

“AHH, FUHH!”

The steamy twisted visions in your mind replay over and over, imagining him in those stupidly sexy gray sweats stroking himself while munching your panties like a fiend. 

Truthfully, the fantasy is doing you in badly and trumped everything else for you.

You haven't been this wet in ages and if he was getting off to your panties, it’s only fair you got off to him owning up to it—right?

“Um, M-Mommy…are y-you okay?”

Choso’s brow furrows when you don’t respond. 

Turning back around, he listens intently for any reply. Head cocking to the side when Choso can only hear muffled cries and the messy sounds of something wet squelching behind the door.

Suddenly, a cold panic sets in for Choso—you said he was already home! 

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Choso had been so focused on the whole boyfriend and dating reveal he’d completely overlooked that very important detail. He'd been with Yuji for the past week, so it couldn’t have been him, it had to be—a doppel.

You had let in a doppelganger?

Was he in there with you now?

Were you hurt? Is that why you weren’t answering him?

You didn’t sound hurt before but you certainly do now…well maybe not hurt exactly, but extremely distressed at the very least.

“MOMMY, ANSWER ME!!!”

Choso’s anxious cry did capture your attention but unfortunately only fueled the sense of urgency in your fingers thrusting messily into your sopping cunt.

Holy shit—and the wretchedly pathetic way he just called you ‘Mommy?’ 

You know you’re so fucked up for getting off on tormenting poor Choso like this, but his confession was so fucking hot and pretty fucked all on its own. 

There’s no way in hell you could stop now!

How long has it been even since you last orgasm? You couldn’t even remember, your head floating in the haze of a thick pleasurable fog. Regardless the actual length of time the answer was still that it had been too fucking long. 

“AH-AH—SHIIIIIIIT!” 

So close!

Your hand pulling at your nipples joins your other down your pants. The fingers not plunging in your tight slippery core are scrawling urgent cursive patterns over your sensitive nub, unconsciously spelling out Choso’s name on your clit over and over.

Your toes curl as you chew on your lip, the rope in your belly pulls taunt ready to snap when—

BAMMMMMM!!!

Choso barrels through the door and barrier��flowing red scale activated. 

The door itself barely hangs on its hinges as it ricochets back into place (yeah that was def coming out of your deposit for sure).

Scaring you half to death, orgasm thwarted, you can only stare at Choso as rage you’d never seen before is etched all over his face. Yet still his concern for you is evident in rapid fire questions he shoots at you faster than you can even process with your mind still swimming in your lingering arousal.

“ARE YOU OKAY?!”

“WHERE IS HE?!”“DID HE HURT YOU?!”

“HE HURT YOU—I’LL KILL ‘EM!”

Pacing around your apartment frantically, Choso abruptly comes to a stop once he senses that you are the only two in the apartment. 

There’s no doppelganger terrorizing you.

The both of you are panting—Choso from his battle-ready stance, blood congealing off the edges of the vivid crimson barbed arrows on his flustered cheeks—and you, panting from the shock of him bursting through the door, making your core to clench and pulse to the beat of your skyrocketing heart rate.

Stuck like a deer in headlights, you swallow thickly. You’re not sure how much time passes—it feels like hours, though it’s likely only been a few minutes. 

Regaining enough of your wits to remember the compromising position you are in, you slowly begin to pull your hands out of your shorts. The movement catches Choso’s eye, his vision narrowing in on your hands and fixes on the glimpse he receives of the large moist spot leaking through your cute yellow sleep shorts.

“W-W-Wait!”

Breath stuttering in a bit of a tizzy, Choso drops to his knees before you the second it clicks what you were doing. All thoughts of your obvious lies gone, the arousing perfume wafting off your cunt slaps him upside the head and severely cripples his ability to process the entire situation. 

It smells so-so much more sweet and potent than the stale remnants he’d get from your used panties!

You remain all the while still against the wall, his bigger form towers over you, effectively trapping you between the surface and his massive erection. The hard-on Choso sports proudly pokes through his baggy hakama pants. Yet he's so transfixed on the moisture glimmering on your soft thighs, he doesn’t realize he’s even showing it off to you—you do notice, however, quite a lot.

Fuck, you’d never seen him hard before he was so big!  

“C-can I see?” 

Choso’s voice meekly squeaks out, his tone becoming pitchy as he chews on his bottom lip and wipes his slick clammy palms off on his pants.

Oh shit, he’s so fucking cute you could eat him right the fuck up.

And unknowingly Choso was thinking the same thing about you—wishing you’d let him in sooner.

Why were you doing this without him? 

He was your boyfriend right? He could have been helping you with this.

Did you think he’d not want to do this with you? 

Did you not want to do it with him?

Yet Choso doesn’t get the opportunity to voice any of these concerns as his mind turns to goo when your pink tongue darts out to wet your bottom lip. Nodding affirmatively, you gently shimmy your pj shorts down.

Your heart is beating so hard in your ears right now.

You know a conversation needs to be had and that you have to tell him the truth—fess up and come clean. 

Although all of that seemed so small and irrelevant compared to the very large cock thumping against Choso’s thigh and the pertinent fluttering of your pussy—she’s not letting you forget how badly you still want to cum for a second.

If anything you were just happy more than anything he was just as big, if not a bigger, sexually repressed degenerate as you are.  The fact that you both wanted each other would be good enough for now which was more than evident in Choso’s eyes—crazed with excitement and following your every move.

He most definitely keenly whines like an injured puppy. As if the sight of you spreading your thick thighs open to reveal the pretty pair of mesh and silk panties, with a sizable expanding wet spot over your core, pains him and he trembles. 

“Mmm, is it okay if I…?”

Neither you nor Choso is quite sure what he’s asking permission for but you give it to him regardless.

Your body jumps slightly when you feel his shaky grasp touch your warm skin just above your knees. Trying to calm himself proves futile the higher Choso’s palms stumble upwards to rest on your inner thighs. 

The audible puff Choso breathes out seeing with his own eyes the pretty shape and color of your glistening cunt through the wet mesh material.

Lowering his face closer to your core, Choso unabashedly takes the biggest whiff of your lewd aroma. His eyes roll back as he moans sensually. His warm breath and flicks of his drool gust over your quivering cunt which has your hips eagerly tipping forward to offer yourself up to him on a platter.

“Cho?”

The neediness is evident in your wanton tone and Choso’s eyes perk up toward you, expectantly, wide-eyed obedience like a hungry dog before it's rewarded with a tasty treat.

“What you said you did to my panties, Cho?—m’do it like that baby.”

ᡣ𐭩ᡣ𐭩ᡣ𐭩

“OHHH GAWD—F-FUCK!”

Choso’s iron hold spreads your doughy thighs apart as his face imposes itself deeper into the fabric covering your creamy cunt, not allowing you to wiggle yourself loose. 

When you told Choso to eat you like he did your panties you didn’t expect he’d actually keep them on you!

You’re discovering just how much Choso liked chewing on your panties—on or off you apparently. You’d tease him for the fetish if he’d ever pause to come up for air and give your poor lil’ puss a break from the carnal torrent of his feverish tongue. 

Head bobbing back and forth in a rhythm all of its own, Choso is quite literally crying into your pussy, deliriously whimpering unintelligible praises of her—with no sign of stopping. At his complete mercy, your hands hold on to pigtails like reigns, except no amount of pulling gets Choso to put heel to his rampage—in fact it does the opposite.

Choso is obsessed with the whole of you—every shiver, twitch or cry he elicits from you encourages him to draw out even more.

How could he not be? 

Especially with the delectable dish before him consisting of your translucent soggy panties gluing itself to the exact shape of your smooth inner folds and puffy clit. Completely saturated, a build up of slick, spit and tears suds atop the mesh creating sloppy spit bubbles in the wake of his mouth’s crazed motions. Bubbles which Choso eagerly slurps up again like a man who's been parched for days. 

And truly he is—not wanting to remove his head between your heavenly thighs for even a moment lest he wake and discover this all to be a hallucination. He didn’t want to ever go back to only imagining this kind of bliss.

“Soooo g-good..GOD—S-Such…AH—g-good boy, Cho.”

Lost in the sauce of your sweet pussy, Choso gleefully continues—languid in his exploration but purposeful, you feel every flex of his dexterous muscle quivering in your pussy as he licks you from your swollen outer lips and into the folds of your inner labia. 

Choso commits every groove of your cunt to his memory. 

Only once you tense enough, arching your back and digging your nails into his cranium to push him towards her will Choso finally pay attention to your clit— his thick spongy tongue flattens, ensuring its soft bump texture scrapes across each and every nerve in your sensitive fleshy bundle. He’s feverishly making out with your bud to the point of making your actual mouth jealous.

Fuck, he was eating you like a pro and you haven’t even properly kissed him yet!

His skills are a total 180 degree shift from how novice he was just an hour earlier.

Obviously inexperienced, Choso’s first inclination was to latch his entire mouth over your clothed cunt, sucking and licking aimlessly, which honestly tickled at first more than anything.

Yet being the fast-learning good boy he is, Choso takes your instructions as well as your nonverbal cues to heart. Checking in with you often, his eyes darted up to you with innocent coos of ‘How does it feel, Mommy?’ reverberating into your core. 

Not only does Choso take direction well, he proactively improvises. 

You weren’t expecting him to start humming on your clit when you instructed him to suck it directly. Playing you like a harmonica, shaking his head and alternating between sucking and blowing. The insane waves vibrated into your cunt to stimulate every single pleasure point. 

You’d never gotten eaten out so desperately before, let alone with your underwear still on!

More caring with your pleasure than his own, Choso has already pulled two mind-bending orgasms out of you. Dining on your savory cunt like it's his last meal, Choso’s greediness while drowning in your pussy is steadily taking you to number three. 

To say Choso is pussy-drunk at the moment would be a massive understatement. 

Choso is worshiping you like he had found God in your gooey lips and as far as he was concerned he has. Relentlessly grinding against the floor, shuddering and moaning into your cunt he’d gladly pray into your pussy as much as you’d let him, swirling his tongue as far as he could into your cute hole winking against your soggy panties. 

From the noises he makes you think he’s already found enough pleasure of his own to soil his pants.

And you’re absolutely right.

Frantically rubbing his dick against your shared apartment’s plush carpet, the absolute elation he feels to finally taste you after all this time combined with the scratchy friction of the fibers prove too much for his needy virgin cock to bear. 

Nevertheless, that doesn’t slow him, uncaring about the uncomfortable stickiness caking between his legs when his head is still very occupied between yours.

“Shiiiit, ah—fuh—W-waiiiit, baby…Chos—OH!”

Stomach clenching, eye rolling ecstasy takes over when his canine accidentally swiped over your overstimmed clit. The tension finally snaps and your legs jerk with the prickly pleasure of tingles running through them. Your lashes splash away the stream of tears filling your eyes from the third orgasm Choso has studiously pulled from you.  

Choso shows no sign of stopping and while you’d happily let your little eater go to town on you all night, your pussy is screaming at you—you needed him to fill her up.

It takes all your strength to pry Choso’s face out of your cunt. His flushed cheeks are drenched and he appears dazed, a dreamy gaze in his eyes before distress instantly etches his features upon realizing he wasn’t suffocating himself in your pussy any longer.

“Nooo, Mommy pleaaaasuh! She’s s’p-pretty n s’creamy—s’wet… l-let me go back, kay?”

His deranged affectionate whines spur you to tug on his hair harder, keeping his attention focused on your face as you pose to him the question that has him ready to cum in his pants all over again.

“I know Cho, your mouth is s’good at getting Mommy’s pussy messy. But baby, don’t you wanna wet your dick in your girlfriend’s pussy next?”

Dumbstruck, Choso never considered that an option. 

“Or are you just satisfied with stewing in your own cum filled pants?”

Truly, he would have been happy just setting up camp all night with his face lodged in your cunt. Yet you flipped the lights on in his mind again, reminding him of how much he’d wanted to feel you on his cock knowing it would be so much better than his calloused hands stroking him.

With a series of dopey headshakes, Choso is scrambling to remove his robes. 

“Sorry, m’sorry!”

You couldn’t laugh at Choso for nearly falling over himself enthusiastically trying to shed his clothes, not when you’re just as wound up. Buzzing with lust, you're openly drooling seeing the massive stain on Choso’s white hakama as he sits back on his knees. Pushing down his pants, Choso’s cock rebounds bobbing back towards his belly and leaving glimmering traces of the prior mess he’s made. 

You knew he was big but holy shit—he’s too fuckin baby girl to be carrying around such a deadly daddy weapon in his pants. It makes rock hard length all the more intimidating the way his mushroomy tip reddens as the pearly streams of his essence flow over the heavy vein swaying his cock forward.

“If you really mean it, then apologize to Mommy with your cock for wasting all her cum in those pants of yours.”

You’re way past the line of going too far already. 

You know you are playing with fire teasing him like this, especially since the thick lines of his ability still activated even if the barbs were no longer on his face. He’d literally split you in two if he went too fast—and yet?

A part of you wanted him to break you.

Hovering over your form, like you were a delicate object while helping you pull off your last remaining articles of clothing. There's a mixture of both of your fluids webbing to your cunt as your panties—now destroyed with little holes scattering them from Choso him furiously gnawing on them like a teething puppy— are gingerly peeled off your skin.

Seeing you completely naked, Choso is stunned stupid. 

Utterly stuck, he’s biting his inner cheek hard so he doesn’t cum just from the sight of you from your warmed cheeks, pert nipples, quivering belly and pussy glossy from leaking a steady stream of drool.

“Y-You’re perfect!”

Choso blurts out and you think you can feel the thumping in your pussy all the way up in your eardrums as you overload on his adorableness. 

Spreading your legs wider you allow him to settle between your thighs, your hips slightly strain from accommodating his large body that completely dwarfs yours as Choso presses ope your thighs again. 

His anticipation visible, Choso’s upper body is trembling, biting down on his lip as he cautiously runs his angry cockhead down your soaked slit.  

“Shiiiiiiit.”

Drawing back Choso hesitates, the feel of even your pearly gland against his tip is almost too much.

“Umm, Y-You know what you’re doing Cho? I can get on—”

“NO! Um, y-yeah… I mean, I’d want that it’s, uh—I-I wanna make you feel good first if that’s okay, Mommy?”

Choso mumbles shyly, a determined look behind his bashefulness—so fuckin cute!

Oh yeah, you couldn’t wait for your turn to eat him the fuck up.

You’d settle for his lips though, tasting yourself on them you share your first real kiss while Choso is sinking inside your gummy core. The kiss doesn’t last long, only faintly grazing your tongue against his own before Choso is choking into your mouth. Unable to savor the kiss as he can’t even control the movement of his lips, just sneaking the very tip inside you near paralyzes him with pleasure.

Too warm, too wet and the fit much too tight—so it’s no surprise that when his hips dare to venture only a tiniest bit forward he's immediately cumming inside you with broken wails and sobs. 

“M’sorry! M’sorry! M’sorry!”

Your mind is elsewhere, still delayed from your pussy getting stretched so wide from the mere girth of the cockhead just minutes after getting eaten like a last meal on death row—so you didn’t even consider how fast he would cum once he was inside you.

Telling him to pull out now would be pointless, especially considering how incredibly turned on you are by him shaking like a leaf from just putting his tip inside. Trying to thursy into you further has him collapsing down and crying nonsense into your neck. 

A small smile is on your lips as you soothe him, amused with your pussy being Choso’s personal kryptonite. Hooking your arms under his, you stroke his shoulder blades whispering assurances.

“Just breathe Cho”

You’re also relishing the break it also gave you time to adjust, you were so full just from taking half of him. Your walls are slowly learning to accommodate his girth and clench around him, sucking him further in causing him to keen pitchy little moans as the pool of slobber increases down your nape.

Shit. You’re craving more.

You didn’t want to rush him as you can tell how just the smallest crumb of pussy has him in shambles, but your insides might burn up entirely if he didn’t start moving soon. 

Your gentle touch slick with the sweat beading on his broad chiseled back, roams down until you reach his hips. Nails digging into the sides of his glutes for grip, you pull his pelvis forward and down. Teaching him just how to fuck you, you lead his twitching length deeper into your pussy before guiding his hips back up then down again. 

Frankly, you think Choso might bust again from the deep groan he sighs when his long cock knocks against your cervix, fully sheathed in you. But your good boy proves to be a quick study yet again and it only takes a few cycles of training his hips before Choso adapts to a steady consistent rhythm on his own.

His eyes are screwed shut though, knowing from the videos he watched you wouldn’t be satisfied unless he could last longer for you. Certainly Choso would nut if he caught a glimpse of how nicely the peaks of your stiff nipples were bouncing or the lewd splash of creamy fluids from your cunt edging up your churning tummy like a tide. 

It was almost too much on its own that Choso could still taste the sweet tang of your cunt on his lips knowing his cock was buried so deeply in her. Choso’s oral fixation getting the best of him, the desire to suck on all parts of you rose as he scoops you up slightly, arms wrapped around your back propping your chest up towards his mouth so he can suckle on your tiddies.

When Choso inevitably makes the mistake of opening his eyes. Your sweet face, twisted in rapture, eyes fluttering back in a way that nearly matches the fluttering of your cunt around him undoes him again.

Choso just loves you too much.

“G-Gonna cum, again—m’sorry Mommy! G-GUHHHHHHH. P-Pussy too good. Never wanna leave—never gonna leave your perfect pussy, Mommy. I’ll stay inside you like this.”

Deranged in ecstasy, head burrowed in the safe haven in your tits, Choso’s declarations feel more like threats. Mouth is still full of tiddy, Choso coos out more promises of loving you and your pretty pussy so good like you deserve and making up for the months he could have been doing this.

“C-Cho, baby, pull out if you’re g-gonna—”

Too late.

To his credit Choso, wasn't even doing it on purpose. His body is in auto mode. Your cunt crippling his brain too badly for him to have any real control and Choso fucking you more like a curse than a human in the moment.

You’d asked for it with your teasing though, you thought as another load of viscous warmth blooms into your guts. Initially you figured no harm since it was his first time, but you’re now  losing count of the many times Choso has battered your puffed pussy into another orgasm and in turn busted in you. 

Obscene sounds squelch out of your pretty pussy, his cum making it even easier for him to frantically buck his hips to slam against your g-spot with every thrust—growing wholly addicted to the feeling of sliding in and out of you. 

His desperation for you has Choso manhandling you into different positions, all which you have Yuji and Todo to thank for sending him all their fap material. You didn’t know that though and you didn’t have time to wonder either when Choso has zero regard for the flexibility some of these positions require, yet obediently it’s your body bends to his will. 

Your head is drowning in euphoria from getting fucked so savagely, it takes a while to realize that you’ve changed positions again. Now on your stomach, ass up and shoulder being held down as Choso is using your creamy pulverized cunt like his own personal fleshlight. 

Your limbs feel weak and you’re cumming so hard now it’s almost painful, Choso reaches around to strum your abused clit while biting into your neck.

“One more time, Mommy! Please let me fuck you, one more time!”

Unfortunately for your poor pummeled pussy, that one more time was 3 rounds ago and your new boyfriend hasn’t gone soft yet—likely thanks to his blood manipulating abilities.

But since you manipulated Choso and yourself into a 3 month relationship it’s only fair he manipulates his cock into staying hard—right?

Choso has to make up for an entire 3 months of not fucking you tonight.

Good luck with that!

......RESULT: INCONCLUSIVE. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚐𝚗𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎, 𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕, 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚋𝚘𝚢𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚗 𝚎𝚡𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚜—𝚜𝚘 𝚕𝚎𝚝’𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚒𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 '𝙼𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚢'.

that's not my jjk man series (visit series page for full animation)

i did not mean for it to be this long but got carried away as this the first time ive written virgin!choso.

comment and reblog! next up nanami, reworking it bit thats why I delayed it.

©blkkizzat 2024. do not steal works or gfx, do not translate.

[thefanficmonster]

Do you do NSFW? If so, may I request a Markiplier NSFW alphabet?

Hi dear! Usually I struggle greatly when writing anything NSFW for RPF but I shall do my best. Baby steps lol Hope you enjoy <3

Pairing: Markiplier x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: !!NSFW content below the cut!!

A= Aftercare (What they're like after the act)

Mark is the absolute sweetest and most attentive lover before, during and after the act.

After he's made sure you're alright, he'd go grab you a bottle of water, a snack and a towel to clean you up. You can bet on a long cuddle sesh after the act, filled with intimacy and romance, periodically interrupted by jokes he'd crack to make you laugh.

B= Body Part (Favorite body part of their own or on their lover)

He's pretty damn proud of his hands. Years of gaming have made them particularly skillful in many ways and he knows how to utilize them just right *wink* *wink*

Oh, and also his back. He's been influenced to love it by you more so than on his own accord but still.

On you, he loves your legs and thighs. Count on him constantly having his hands all over them in both innocent and explicit instances. And when you wrap your legs around his waist....consider him a goner.

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)

Inside, no questions asked.

Before you got to the point of being comfortable enough for that, however, he found just as much pleasure in painting either your chest, thighs or face.

D= Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory)

Nothing helps him excel at a game quite like under-the-desk head while recording. Bonus points if it's a live stream.

E= Experience (do they know what they're doing)

Mark has had decent amount of experience, enough to be versed into how things work textbook-wise. Every skill he exhibits, however, is something he improvised at some point. But don't take that the wrong way - this man knows exactly what he's doing

F= Favorite Position

Mark is simple man and his favorite position reflects that - Doggy style (closely followed by cowgirl)

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

Oh this man is a majore league goof in general and during sex. That's not to say he can't get into character and dawn a serious and attractively intimidating front when the atmosphere of the night calls for it.

He's a perfect balance between goofy and serious, occasionally leaning far left or far right depending on the moment.

H= Hair (grooming habits)

He takes care of his hygiene rather meticulously. He keeps everything neat, trimmed and clean.

I= Intimacy (how are they in the moment)

There's never a shortage of intimacy between you and Mark during the act. Regardless of if the night calls for making love or having rough sex, there's never a lack of intimacy and closeness between you two.

That being said, I'd again say it's perfectly balanced. Whatever the night calls for is how Mark responds - be it slow, romantic lovemaking or rough and dirty sex.

J= Jerk-off (do they masturbate and how often)

He used to do it a lot more frequently before you started dating. Now, nothing can compare to the real thing. He can't find much satisfaction in masturbating but he still turns to it as a resort of release when either of you is away on a trip

K= Kink (kinks they might have)

Dear God, please forgive me for this...

Choking, spanking, hair-pulling, dom/sub dynamics, daddy kink, light bondage, praising/degrading (depending on what the situation calls for). Feel free to share your thoughts on this topic in the comments

L= Location (where they're down to get it on)

Every single surface in the house is game in Mark's eyes. Especially the kitchen counter and the nicely spacious shower

M= Motivation (what gets them going)

You, in any context you can think of. You don't even need to be dressed provocatively in any way shape or form. This man is just so head over heels for you, he can't help it.

Apart from that, a good ol' rage game will raise his blood pressure just right and he'll proceed to blow off some steam with you. The same works the other way around - when he's high on the success of completing a game and he celebrates with you

N= No (what they're strictly against and wouldn't try)

Anything with violent and hostile connotations that could bring you harm in any way, be it physical or emotional. He loves you more than words can describe and just the thought of hurting you fills him with dread. You both like dabbling into the occasional impact play but nothing more than that, and never without a safe word.

O= Oral (are they more of a giver or receiver)

Mark is a big fan of receiving but he enjoys giving so much more. He does it for his own pleasure just as much as he does it to bring you satisfaction. He loves every aspect of it - your taste, the tangling of your hands in his hair, the sounds you make, the bucking of your hips. It's his own personal high. He could do it for hours if you'd let him.

P= Pace (what's their pace during the act)

Again, the speed setting Mark operates on depends on the atmosphere of the night. On the regular, he likes to take it slow, prolong the experience and uphold this bubble of intimacy around the two of you for as long as he can.

Q= Quickie (are they a fan of quickies)

Nope.

The Devil is into details and so is Mark. And it's difficult to appreciate the details when working with a small time frame. He likes to take his time, worshipping you the way you deserve in the most meticulous and intimate manner.

R= Risk (how risky are they/do they like trying new things)

Oh he loves a good unconventional and borderline public location where there's a chance at getting caught. Although he prefers the comfort of your shared house it doesn't cancel out his love for the thrill of some public fun.

As for trying new things, he's down to try everything at least once - unless it falls in the No criteria I mentioned earlier. All you have to do is bring it up and you can automatically consider him signed up and strapped in, ready to try it.

S= Stamina (how long they last in bed)

The speed may or may not directly relate to how long he lasts. He can get at least two rounds - a solid hour/hour and a half - under his belt before breaking a sweat.

T= Toys (do they own and and are they down to experiment with them)

I have a feeling there is a box, hidden in a dark corner of a closer or under his bed, containing a small collection of sex toys. If you're game to use him, he'd love nothing more than take them out to play.

U= Unfair (are they a tease)

To an infuriating degree. He'd even mock you when you whine, beg or get frustrated with his teasing.

It's music to his ears.

V= Volume (how loud are they during sex)

Mark is vocal but not loud.

He exhibits his satisfaction and pleasure with mainly sighs and groans, all at a pretty low volume. But he's also very expressive during sex - praising/degrading you accordingly or dirty talking you over the edge. All in a whispered or hushed tone that makes it all the hotter.

W= Wild Card

Remember how I said he's not a big fan of masterbating? Well, when he has to resort to it he has a certain way of making it much more pleasurable...

Photos and videos you two have taken during the act or right afterwards in your disheveled states.

It's his personal collection, safely tucked away in a dark hidden corner of his computer memory.

X= X-Ray (what are they packing)

I'm sorry, I can't. I just can't. I've sinned enough tonight LMAOO

Y= Yearning (sex drive level)

Name: Mark

Status: Permanently horny

Z= Zzzz (*yawn*)

I already mentioned a cuddle sesh earlier and I will now add onto it to say that, although he tries his best not to, he does fall asleep rather quickly and deeply. How could he not when he feels so much comfort with his arms wrapped around you. When he falls asleep to the sound of your breathing and heartbeat, it's the most peaceful slumber he's ever had.

[gojoshooter]

On halloween night with boyfriend Sukuna

a/n: i couldn't wait to post this!! enjoyyy <3

Sukuna waiting outside in the car tapping his shoes impatiently as you do the final touches for your halloween party look because the obvious — does he need to try? He's good to go with a bloody wifebeater and skinny jeans to show off his thick thighs.

You literally painted yourself a vampire with bullet in the head and he mumbles “cute” as you enter the car... fix your man?

Okay you did look kinda cute. He's pulling and kissing your plush blood-red lips and grazing his tongue along those fake little fangs. Cute cute cute he coos.

Your pointy black nails are slightly smaller than his real ones, he notes, and they go nowhere else than his big palm that clasp yours all the way to the party. Oh damn your little red dress with black lace all over, that made him trip on nothing with how intense his gaze runs down your height.

He actually puts makeup to not go overboard the intimidation bar. You had to convince your madman to not show up in his true form — he's handsome both ways for sure, but that's not normal to find the father of mf special grade curses goofing at a sorcerer's.

Bold of you to think that would stop his menace genes, cause once you leave his side, he's coming for your two bestfriends. If passive bullying Yuji in his human-earthworm costume who runs almost in tears to Gojo wasn't enough, he calling out Megumi for his (actually pretty) devine dogs mask. Though the most reaction he got out of your raven hair friend was a pissed frown when your boyfriend calls him a “fury brat”.

And as if one personification of headache was less, there comes Gojo Satoru, your former teacher in his highschool uniform with a fake 'Inverted Spear of Heaven' up his neck to save his favourite student. That's a pretty cool idea — you mentally compliment.

“Sukuna-san... I won't appreciate troubling my students in my own house, you know. I'm here though... if you want to take this outside.” Despite the little rivalry they've been up on, it amazes you how similar their challenging look of intimation is, just a little bit cute.

“Coming from your biggest L-taker costume I suppose, Gojo-san?” oh, burn. That's enough, you're on cue as soon as Megumi holds down Gojo from jumping your boyfriend.

“Knock it off, Suku” you warn him, tugging subtly at his tattooed arm. You're more mad at the fact his chuckle did something to your beating little heart. “Can't take you seriously in this cute ass makeup, babe.” Megumi sighs as he walks his sensei away. As much stinky Sukuna's affection seems, atleast he's off the hook thanks to you.

“Alright, show me what your tiny fangs do and maybe I'll stop” he's provoking you now, of course his thousand years d!ck loves to rile you up, you know that. And you're not backing down today.

“When we're home.” your pretty squinted eyes rival his smirk when you press a finger on his chest, and his tall frame over your smaller one. Did he just notice your dark red contacts? Fuck, if not already, he's aroused now.

“Feisty? now that's my type of halloween” he complies with his signature killer smirk.

p.s.: happy halloween >-<!! how can I not write about Suku ^^ been days since i posted lmfao put up with my not so creative ass😭😭 likes & rbs are appreciated babies<3

tags: @anubisisthebomb @dianagracesworld @4sat0ruu @stellagrangerreads12 @momochina-sama @xxkay15xx @nanamikentoseyebags @tojisun @whodoesthatanymore

[menlove]

[image id: an ask from @harbingerofskulls that reads: "im gonna b real i only knew the jerking off i would love to hear you elaborate more if you want to go on the whole situation" /end id]

answering here so i can save as a draft without risking the ask disappearing bc tumblr's been doing that lately but

oh god </3 for everyone else- it's talking about this post. sooo i'm gonna go through each one bc i've been feeling insane for several weeks. i'll do my best to cite my sources lmao

i don't know (johnny johnny)

this is referring to this unreleased VERY early beatles track from 1960. the audio quality is absolute shit & as such unfortunately people love to put words to it that don't make much sense in either direction (i.e a lot of mclennon fans want to hear "you're in love with me" and a lot of people that hate mclennon will just make up the weirdest lyrics that make 0 sense so it's Not Gay). some of the lyrics that ARE clear make it obvious this song is about the two of them running away together- at one point i'm fairly certain paul says "how am i gonna tell my father that we're leaving town?" probably referring to them leaving to hamburg. which would be fine but some of the other lyrics areeeee..... very..... Hm. like multiple times paul refers to john as "my boy" and there's bits of them talking about not knowing what to tell their friends & wanting to just run off together alone. if i were the other members of the band having to record this i would have killed them with hammers <3 also the entire end is just paul going "oh johnny" like 1 million times. okay. sure. also since the lyrics ARE so garbled i mean i guess people could be right about it saying "how am i gonna tell my father you're in love with me" but i just don't hear it. still, a very gay song about running off together and getting away from everything and everyone, complete with moaning the other's name </3

2. paris

this one is a huge part of McLennon Fandom Lore lmao but for good reason. not citing sources on all this bc it's one of those that's just Fact & can be found in like any beatles biography or thebeatlesbible.com (my savior) but. for john's 21st birthday, he got 100 pounds from a rich relative. instead of taking his girlfriend or any of his other friends, he decided to use the money to take paul to spain. but they stopped in paris on the way and just decided to stay there. which i mean like. taking your best friend over your girlfriend to the city of love is a little weird but it's not THAT weird. it's everything else that makes people want to chew glass about it. including some of the other things on this list. like this audio of john just goofing around singing about paris and paul, with such hits as "my cheri, my pau pau my pau paul." which is :| okay best friend. and paul has this picture hung up in his house that he took of john sleeping in paris. okay. sure. why not. (although ig there's some doubt about if the photo is from paris? either way it's a picture paul took and has framed in his house which is incriminating enough my man). also NOT in the original post but may pang, a woman john had a brief affair with in the 70s, wrote a book called loving john. in it, there's this quote:

After a late lunch, Linda launched into a long paean to the joys of living in England. When she was finished, she turned to John and said, “Don’t you miss England?”

“Frankly,” John replied, “I miss Paris.”

okay! also in an interview once he said:

The thing was all the kissing and the holding that was going on in Paris. And it was so romantic, just to be there and see them, even though I was twenty-one and sort of not romantic. But I really loved it, the way the people would just stand under a tree kissing; and they weren’t mauling at each other, they were just kissing.

(interview with david scheff for playboy in september 1980)

3. if i fell

this one i already made an insane post on that started my spiral into posting about the beatles publicly </3 but, essentially, the song "if i fell" by john is..... well it's most likely about paul. he said it wasn't about his wife but that it was auto-biographical and he never really had any public affairs that weren't flings, certainly not a lover. but most damning is he wrote the complete lyrics for the first time on a valentine's day card addressed "to paul with love" with some hearts and arrows pointing to where the lyrics were written. absolutely insane. made me insane.

4. oh! darling

rawest paul song of all time if i do say so myself lmao. but it's just.... Highly Suspicious, that's what it is. a Lot of beatles fans/historians will admit this song is most likely about john but they won't admit that it's fucking romantic if it is. like.

like that is so blatantly romantic idk what to say other than that. also, in the official recording on abbey road, there's Several points where paul says "darling" that sound more like he's saying "johnny" which is what he called him. people brush it off by saying it's his accent, but there's a very clear difference between when he's saying "darling" and when he's saying "johnny". i mean the Lore behind this is that it was written right when things were splitting up between them (& the rest of the band) so it makes sense and it's why most people are willing to accept it's about john. it's just insane to me that they'll accept it's about john without considering the implications of that.

5. the real life demo

this one made me want to light myself on fire i won't lie to you. but here it is! john had a song called "real love" and this is a very early demo of it. but instead of the lyrics that came to actually be in the song (which are thought to be about yoko but let's not get into the fact that it was on a tape labeled "for paul" but whatever), it includes john fucking crying as he sings saying:

"was i just dreaming or was it only yesterday? i used to hold you in my arms. and now a baby and another on the way... la la la la farm..."

which can quite literally be about no one else but paul, as this demo was recorded when he'd just had two children with his wife linda and linda was pregnant with their third child. they'd moved to a farm in scotland. hearing this audio clip did genuinely make me want to lie down in the dirt for a week. also "i used to hold you in my arms" just... yeah. god. when people think it was unrequited idk what to say, really.

6. If Paul Were A Woman-

shoving these two together but. in april of 85, paul said in an interview about john and yoko's relationship:

"I mean, I couldn’t stand in the way of someone who’d fallen in love. You can’t say, 'Who’s this?' You can’t really do that. If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and…"

okay bestie <3 and what would make your relationship different if you were a woman? interesting! and yoko had something similar to say. in this audio, she says:

"I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat – because there’s something definitely very strong between John and Paul."

just reminds me of being a kid and telling my best friends "if i were a boy i'd date you" lol. incredible. does anyone here know about bisexuality.

7. stuart!

not much to say here except that john had a best friend, stu sutcliffe, who died young & before that had been the bassist in the band. paul fucking hated him sooo much oh he SEETHED. a lot has been written on that relationship but it was.... very interesting to say the least. it could have just been about the band, or just jealousy over john's friendship, but take that with a lot of john biographers suspecting john had feelings/even a sexual relationship with stuart and it paints a very Interesting picture to say the least

8. john's bisexuality

here's a compilation of quotes about it, but john was more than likely bisexual. which has nothing to do w paul, really, but more to do against people that like to claim they were both Heterosexual Men. although an interesting quote in this compilation is him saying he's "had paul" lmfao

9. paul's post-beatles work

there's just.... there is so so so much here i don't even know where to begin. @ringompreg has a good compilation of paul songs here. a lot of them do take a bit of Lore but like..... it comes down to the fact that both him and john have/had admitted many times to using their lyrics during The Breakup Years to talk to/reference each other and sooooo many of these lyrics are insanely blatant. the two i mentioned were tug of war and let me roll it, both of which are acknowledged to be about john by most people WITH NO ONE BOTHERING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THAT which..... tug of war has this:

we could stand on top of the mountain with our flag unfurled? dancing to a beat played on a different drum? this is what gaylors think gaylor conspiracy is but paul mccartney is really out here saying this shit.

and let me roll it is so fucking blatantly romantic but every reviewer is like haha! what a cool song that's "making fun" of john and clearly in his style! like are straight people stupid genuinely. anyway:

bonus to that but about JOHN'S solo work :)))))) he wrote a song called "watching the wheels" and when you consider he very much responded to MANY of paul's solo stuff it's :)

which as a response to let me roll it would just be... so devestating but it may be a stretch idk if i'm onto anything there it's just worth Mentioning

and there's a lot of others, a lot of them in that post up there. like far too many where paul mentions falling in love with a friend like Alright.

10. paul's first lsd trip with john/"i know" "i know"

this one is less blatantly romantic but it is just insane. here's an article. and a quote from george martin about it. the first time paul tripped on acid w john was bc john accidentally took some and he took him home & then took acid w him bc he didn't want john to be alone on the trip :( but, notably:

"And we looked into each other’s eyes, the eye contact thing we used to do, which is fairly mind-boggling. You dissolve into each other. But that’s what we did, round about that time, that’s what we did a lot," the singer recalled, "And it was amazing. You’re looking into each other’s eyes and you would want to look away, but you wouldn’t, and you could see yourself in the other person. It was a very freaky experience and I was totally blown away."

he also apparently saw john as the, and i quote, "emperor of eternity" during this trip??????? okay

SOMEWHERE i can't find it rn and i'm getting lazy but somewhere they (i think paul?) talk about the fact that they used to just stare into each other's eyes and then say "i know" "i know" which. considering john's song "i know (i know)" makes me crazy

11. in my life/i will

these are really just some devastating songs with lyrics that make you really raise your eyebrows. for in my life, written by john, it's just an incredibly romantic & sweet song that is again, not about his wife. given that the lennon estate is still out here posting pictures of paul to those lyrics i have to say it's a liiiiittle suspicious. and i will is...... it's one that paul insists is not about his girlfriend at the time, jane asher. and when you look at the lyrics vs how him and john met.... like. the song goes:

and the story of how they met was that paul saw john repeatedly before they ever met, when he didn't know who john was other than that he thought he looked cool & admired his sideburns (lmfao). and when they did finally meet, it was when john was singing at a garden fete (party) and paul was in the crowd just Mesmerized. so. well. you can see.... you can see how fitting that is. makes me crazy makes me want to chew glass actually

12. "we were each other's intimates" and other insane quotes

"we were each other's intimates" is a paul quote about john which is just insane but that's not even the tip of the iceberg. here's a ton of quote compilations.

13. "literally everything else"/honorable mentions

some honorable mentions go out to: john going on stage w elton john & playing i saw her standing there and introducing it as "a song by an estranged fiance of mine" okay! the "just like starting over" demos. okay! which isn't even to MENTION the fact that paul locked himself away in the studio listening to "just like starting over" on repeat for DAYS after john died like???? john saying repeatedly that he considered paul & yoko to be his two major partners in life including in an interview the literal day he died. a whole ass rpf movie where they kiss & talk like they're ex-lovers and dance in central park (two of us) made by the same dude that made the let it be movie like. he knew them personally? he worked with them closely? and the only thing paul had to say about it was just essentially that it was what he wished would've happened like???????? i can't find a super reliable source for this so take it w a grain of salt, but apparently paul referred to mclennon fanfiction as "beautiful stories" and doesn't mind them being written. paul also had a cat that had kittens & he named two of the kittens pyramus and thisbe after fictional lovers he and john played and he gave pyramus (the character paul played) to john :|

and literally so much else like all of this and it's not even all of it. it's not even close to all of it. i didn't even get to talk about the way in "get back" the documentary, paul started talking about john leaving the band for yoko and how john would choose her over them and then he got teary eyed, started choke laughing, and then started singing "build me up buttercup" before looking at the cameras and stopping. what the FUCK was that about! IT'S NOT EVEN GETTING INTO THE SONG "TWO OF US" THAT'S SO OBVIOUSLY ABOUT JOHN THAT IT HURTS. it's. it's not even scratching the surface. they were just genuinely insane about each other.

[kodi-time]

⋆ ★ HOW THEY WOULD CONFESS — MOUTHWASHING HC

This is how I think the Mouthwashing cast would confess to you!

INCLUDES: The entire cast

I’m actually so obsessed with this game lol. I hope you enjoy this! <3

✧. ┊     Anya wouldn't believe that you like her, but she still would want to get her feelings off her chest. She's such a sweetheart, and of course the way she'd confess to you would mimic that. Anya wouldn't want to give you anything short of the best.

She would learn all of your favorite things over time, writing them all down in a notepad to keep track of them.

Your favorite animal? She gets you a stuffie. You favorite snacks? She gets all of them. Your favorite flowers? Custom bouquet.

Can she truly afford all of this? No. Does she still spend this absurd amount of money just to please you? Absolutely.

Anya would probably take you somewhere quiet and secluded, as she'd want her confession to private. It's an intimate moment, and not everyone deserves to take place in it. It's just you and her there, and that's how she'd like it.

The poor girl is so nervous, but she gets through it, and thank goodness. Who wouldn't love her? Why wouldn't you love her?

✧. ┊     Curly is confident, not only in himself, but in his certainty that you like him. He wouldn't confess if he wasn't already 100% sure that you were into him. He definitely waited for months before he actually said anything to you, testing the waters to ensure that he wouldn't ruin things between the two of you.

Let's be so real Curly would never want to ruin what the two of you have, so if that meant never confessing, he just wouldn't, but since he's so sure, it wouldn't hurt to say something.

Curly would take you out somewhere really nice, at least as nice as he could afford at the time, and confess to you there. Truthfully, he wouldn't even need to confess, because he'd probably have invited you there as a date anyway. Curly is just dramatic, guys, but he's so so sweet.

He would bring you flowers and he'd pay for the meal.

Absolutely zero fear in this man. None. He confesses to you, and he expects a yes (that he receives).

✧. ┊     Daisuke is such a goof, but he'd be so scared of you rejecting him. He'd play it off as a joke to mask his nervousness, but if you seem to reciprocate, then he'd actually confess to you.

His fear of rejection would probably hold him back from confessing to you for a long time, but he'd do his best to be confident when he confesses to you. Afterall, who wants a man who can't even confess without becoming a mess, right (We love you exactly how you are, Daisuke. You're so precious.)?

In all honesty, Daisuke would confess to you during a random hangout session after he hyped himself up in a bathroom for a good 15 minutes. He probably got a pep talk from Swansea, too.

He can't even look you in the eye when he confesses properly, he's too scared that he'll potentially see a look of disgust or rejection on your face, and he can't bear that thought, so he chooses to stare at the ground the entire time.

✧. ┊     Swansea just tells you outright that he's into you. That man thinks that he's too old to be playing all those mind games. He's in it to win it, okay? It's either you want him or you don't.

I don't think there'd be anything special to Swansea's confession. He'd probably just tell you in the middle of a random conversation. No warning, no nothing. Y'all are just sitting there, chilling, and he's just like, "I'm into you."

Nothing more, nothing less. That man has nothing to lose.

Swansea is fearless when it comes to confessing. Not even an ounce of nervousness within him.

✧. ┊     If Jimmy is confessing then it's not for any good reason. He wants something that he knows he can only get if you're his. So he tells you he likes you, despite the fact that he couldn't care less about you outside of what you can give him.

He would take time to figure out what you like. He really wants to know you so he knows exactly how to get you to want him -- to need him.

Jimmy would bring you all of your favorite things, sit you down, and tell you that he has feelings for you, and that he has for a while (he doesn't, and he hasn't).

He lives to see the smile on your face when he confesses, because he knows that he just got exactly what he wanted from you.

[gaybananabread]

Hi!! Sorry to bug you, but I love your writing and I saw that TickleTober requests are still open, so I thought I'd see if you were in the mood to fill a request

If you feel like it, could I get Lee!Alastor and a ler of your choice from Hazbin Hotel for either day 3 of day 29? If you decide not to do this one, obviously, no problem. But if you end up wanting to write it, I'd absolutely 100% appreciate it!!

TickleTober Day 3 - Prank

~Yeeeeeh the boys! (^w^) I haven’t done anything with these two yet, so I figured it was time to fix that. Who better for Alastor to mess with and receive his due sanction? This is mainly gonna be them just being their dumbass selves and acting like goofs. Thank you for requesting, and I hope you Enjoy!~

Lee: Alastor

Ler: Lucifer

Summary: Alastor is in dire need of some entertainment, and he finds the perfect target. Lucifer doesn’t appreciate his need for excitement, instead finding his own way to make the day more interesting.

Warnings: Hazbin Hotel spoilers! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!

Charlie’s Hazbin Hotel was busier than it had ever been; true, that meant it had a total of four guests besides Angel, but it was definitely progress! Sinners had put a bit more stock in the princess’s word since their victory against the exorcists. It wasn’t the ideal method she’d hoped for gaining their trust, but she couldn't complain. Things were turning around for her and the crew.

While it was good for business, there wasn't anything too interesting about the new guests. They were just wayward sinners seeking redemption for petty, almost negligible sins; good for his investment, but not his attention span.

The only thing that had brought some moderate enjoyment to the deer man was Lucier’s visits. The king seemed to detest Alastor’s every move, which was quite amusing. Hell, if he simply touched Charlie’s shoulder, Lucifer acted like he held a knife to her throat! Quite entertaining indeed…

That day, Alastor was rather bored. The new guests hadn’t gotten into any interesting trouble in weeks. They were showing real improvement – how boring! Even the streets of Hell seemed to calm down, many still celebrating the second death of Adam and the angelic failure.

So, like any reasonable sinner, he decided to make his own fun.

Lucifer had popped by to visit Charlie: something he’d been trying to do more often since rekindling his relationship with his daughter. Unfortunately for him, she had a meeting with Vaggie that day to go over expenses. He just awkwardly sat on the couch, fiddling with his latest duckie.

Oho, what a delicious opportunity!

Now, the Radio Demon was no fool; he knew better than to do anything too outlandish. A simple joke, however, would be forgivable. “Sorry” was one of Charlie’s main values, after all.

His smile growing wider and fiendishly crooked, Alastor sent out three tentacles to go and mess with the man. Meanwhile, he hid in the shadows, watching his little prank play out.

Slithering up behind him, one of the tentacles snatched his hat, another grabbing the duck and giving it a squeeze. A laser-esque beam shot out from the bill, blowing a hole in the wall. Ah, well. Work means later entertainment.

The moment Lucifer reached up to grab his hat, the third sneaky tentacle snaked up to tug at his coat. The very tip of it brushed against his stomach, making the man flinch and grab hold of it. His eyes lit up a dark red – oh shit. Alastor was in for it.

In seconds, his tentacles dispersed, and he was pinned against the wall by the front of his coat. Alastor’s neverending smile gained a sinister edge, but he didn’t retaliate; he knew better than to do anything violent in Charlie’s domain.

“Careful, your highness. Wouldn’t want dear Charlie to find any stains upon her return.” His tone was sickly amused, knowing he had a sort of diplomatic immunity around the man. To put it simply, Lucifer couldn’t do shit to hurt him, or he’d ruin Charlie’s faith in himself.

“You tacky piece of shit…” Lucifer snarled, his horns showing. Ohoho, he wanted to rip the deer man’s throat out and wear the bones as a necklace, but… No. He couldn’t hurt his daughter like that – never again.

No way he wasn’t gonna get revenge, though. But how?! He couldn’t hurt the sinner, as much as he wanted to. Nothing besides snark seemed to piss Alastor off, and that just simply wasn’t gonna cut it.

“Language, Luci! Such vulgar, immature insults are unbefitting of royalty, demonic or otherwise!” Okay, he was pushing it, but it was too sweet to resist! The look of anger and annoyance on Lucifer’s face… It was, dare he say it, was better than any smile out there. Despite the hypocrisy of it, he had to see the man glaring as often as possible.

Lucifer’s horns came out fully, his eyes burning a hellish, enraged red. Something had to be done about that cocky radio bastard, but what..?

The king’s mind raced, trying to think through the anger management courses Charlie had “accidentally” signed the entire crew up for.

What had they said again? ”Try and take deep breaths, assess the situation, and find a way to communicate your frustrations in a nonviolent way.” Horseshit for Hell, but…it did give him an idea.

“Ya know what? Fine. I don’t need to hurt you to make a point. I just need-” All six of Lucifer’s wings popped out, a devilish grin replacing his glare. “-to make you remember the consequences of your actions~”

Alastor tensed at the look, his smile growing wobbly around the edges. He knew that grin; he’d seen it on a few of the other hotel members when they were acting like fools. Specifically, right before they-

“If you try anything, I’ll teAR THE FLESH FROM YOUR BONES, AND LET YOUR ENTIRE KINGDOM HEAR THE AGONIZED SCREAMS OF THEIR- KYEEeh!”

Before Alastor could enter his badass demon form, one of Lucifer’s claws gently scraped up his stomach.

“Ohoho, what’s this, eh? Big, scary Radio Demon man isn’t ticklish, is he? Might damage the brand!” Lucifer teased, starting to actively tickle the deer man’s stomach. With a quick snap, golden hands grabbed Alastor’s wrists, holding his arms above his head.

Alastor was stubbornly trying to hold his reactions in, glaring gleeful daggers at the powerful man in front of him. It was taking everything he had to stay mostly stoic, but there was no way in Hell he was gonna let Lucifer win.

“What’s the matter, Al? Something bothering you?” Lucifer smirked, trailing his fingers up and down the seam of his coat. “Maybe a tickle in your throat?”

“Sh-shuhut your wretched trap!” Kicking his feet against the ground, Alastor tried to thrash away from the hands. He’d forever deny the small titter that escaped him.

“Yeah, no. I kinda like having you trapped here, fighting back those adorable little noises…” Taking advantage of his wings, Luci started to brush all six tips against Alastor’s sides, ribs, and neck.

“GYECK- Fuhuck youhuhuhu!” The red-coated sinner stomped his foot to try and distract himself; the soft and fluffy feathers tickled just enough to get him giggling like a fool.

“You wish, bambi~” Knowing the dirty joke would get on the man's nerves, he purred it into Al’s ear. The small blush on his face grew at the comment, making him shake his head.

“Youhu peheherveherse twihit! Rehehelehease mehehe ahat ohonce!” His attempts at sounding threatening weren't exactly helped by the bubbly, static-y giggles, but he was trying.

“Ooo, sorry, can’t do that. You see, you messed with me. Now,” he smirked, relaying an altered version of his favorite line. “I’m going to wreck you~”

With that, Lucifer dug into the sweet spot: Alastor’s lower stomach.

The deer man snorted, a squeal quickly breaking through the animalistic sound. Just like that, the dam was broken; big laughs and squeaky curses flooded from Alastor’s lips as he wriggled and kicked.

Luci cooed, scribbling and squeezing the sensitive bit of pudge. He loved hearing the deer noises – especially those surprised snorts and bleats.

“IHI- *snort* IHIHI’LL GRIHIND YOUHUHUR UHUNHOLY BOHOHONES IHINTO DUHUHUHUST!” Alastor still managed to squeeze some threats out through his laughter; he was quite a persistent sinner. It was all talk, though. Al could do nothing to hurt Lucifer, both for fear of the king’s power and the faith of the man’s daughter.

“Suuuuure ya will, deer boy~ Tell my dust how Charlie feels about that.” Lucifer grinned, continuing his assault on the man’s worst spot. He was willing to go for as long as Alastor could handle it.

That was, until, the front door to the hotel opened.

“Hey Dad! I just finished meeting with Rosie, and you’ll never guess what she said!”

In the blink of an eye, Lucifer’s hands whipped down to his sides, his horns retreating. The golden mitts holding Alastor’s wrists yanked him up and tossed him on the lobby couch behind the blonde, back facing them.

To the naked eye, it looked like Al had decided to take a rest, and Luci just so happened to be in the room. The deer man was smart to muffle his giggles before Charlie could notice.

“Oh yeah, Char-Char? Meeting went well, huh?” Lucifer walked over to his daughter, tapping his cane on Alastor’s back as he went; it was petty as hell, but oh so worth it.

“Yeah, really well, actually! She said she’d recommend us to her business partners and any wayward sinners she finds!” Charlie’s eyes sparkled as she rambled about her latest business update, her father paying full attention.

Alastor took a few shaky breaths, cursing the man in giggling whispers. Though he didn’t want to admit it, the stupid fallen angel had won that time.

Melting into the shadow of the couch cushions, the deer man began forming a plan. The next time they would fight, Al would have some tricks up his sleeves. Oh, how the mighty (and smug) would fall…

“‘Til next time, your highness...”

[listofwhyyouloveher]

Can I hc’s for the greasers with a so who’s a boxer?

Summary: greaser boys with a boxer so hc!

Warnings: none

Author's Note: dont know much abt boxing so sorry </3

JOHNNY CADE

Hes kinda terrified of you lwky

Very very shy, will NOT make the first move

Ponyboy will have to slip up abt his crush for him to actually admit it

Everytime socs pick on him you either beat them to a pulp then or later.

Everyone knows not to fuck w him cuz they’d have to fuck w u

PONYBOY CURTIS

Only started talking to you because of your boxing

Yeah he thought you were cute but soda dared him to go ask you to help him fight 

You actually did tho and kinda scared him shitless because he was like WTFFF

Safe to say those socs never bothered him again

SODAPOP CURTIS

he was hanging around bucks with pony when a whole crowd started to form

He, obviously, went to check it out and saw you fighting a man twice your size

When you came out of the makeshift ring with some small cuts a bruises he immediately offered to help you clean up

Gave you his clean shirt hoping you'd come find him to return it to him

STEVE RANDLE

Saw you getting jumped from outside the DX and he ran over with power tools fully ready to kick some ass

You were just standing over them and like looking around for witnesses

He was literally inviting you inside being like “that mustve been so hard!! Let me get you a drink!!”

Asks you to walk him home because hes ‘scared’ (js wants to talk to you more)

TWO-BIT MATTHEWS

Was js goofing around with Steve when he saw you

Jaw dropped when he saw ur beefy arms 

Lwky he was drooling

Steve pushed him into you and he nearly fangirl screamed when you caught him

DALLAS WINSTON

Let's be real he 100% tried to fight you or scare you in some way

It definitely ended in you winning or a tie because he got tired

Because of that he always asks your permission to do something because he lost his authority over people

Like “let's go to the DQ, wanna go to the DQ??”

Will try to fight for you when people are acting up

DARREL CURTIS

He's not scared of you, rather, he's just really happy to find someone who is his equal in strength 

Lwky expects you to come help him run his little daycare of ponyboy +soda because of how rowdy they can get and how scared they are of you

Even though you might be hella good at it, don't ever expect to fight when ur around Darry

He's 100% doing it for you and walking away victorious

[archangeldyke-all]

doing asks publicly makes me so nervous but i'm gonna do it anywayssss. i sent you a couple of asks but you said you didn't get it so im gonna send you this one that i've been thinking about for a hot minute-- i think its really cute like omgmgggg ANYWAYS

sevika with a younger (20s) vampire reader who watches her from afar and leaves her really pretty vintage looking gifts, romantic poems, and cute love notes? basically just the reader leaving stuff that sevi takes an interest in!! i'd love for this to be with a black reader if possible <3

this is so cuteeee!!

a quick note and disclaimer before we start! i don't know much about vampire lore, just the very basic stuff, so i apologize if this isn't the exact vampire vibe you were hoping for, or if i get some things wrong, i'm mostly just guessing hahah. also! i'm white, and i'll try my best to make this an obviously black reader without shoving it down your throat, but if i get anything wrong, please lmk and i'll fix it right away :)

men and minors dni

zaun is a great place for a vampire to live. sunlight rarely reaches the low levels of the city, leaving you free to roam whenever you want, day or night.

additionally, the abundance of crime and violence, as well as the lack of any real help from piltover, means that the occasional dead body (both human and animal) with puncture wounds in their necks go relavitely unnoticed.

it's these reasons that made you decide to settle down in zaun for a while.

it's sevika that made you decide to stay.

you've never met the woman, at least not traditionally, but that doesn't mean you don't know her.

the first time the two of you crossed paths was one late night in the dingy streets of the lanes.

you were starving, out searching for a rat or cat or maybe even a man harassing some poor girl to sink your fangs into. you had wandered away from your usual haunts and toward the newly re-furbished 'last drop.'

rumor had it that the new owner had some shady dealings on the side. you figured it'd be a good as place as any to catch a scumbag in action, or maybe find someone so drugged out on shimmer they wouldn't notice waking up the next morning with a pint of blood or so missing.

as you approached the bar, the few stragglers out this late grew into a rambunctious crowd. you grinned, ducking into a dark alley, licking your lips in anticipation of your next meal.

it took no time at all for you to find your target. a crowd was standing outside the bar, laughing and goofing off as they played with a handful of dice and passed around some cigars and joints. a girl in the crowd kept winning, and you watched as one of the men she was with grew more and more irritated as she continued to pick up her winnings.

the second he put his hand on her in an attempt to pull her back and backhand her, your fangs descended, knowing you'd found your guy. you ducked out of the alley, reaching out to grab the man by the bicep and pull him toward a shadowy corner.

but before you could touch him, he was being harshly pulled away from the young woman and thrown on the pavement.

you paused in the mouth of the alleyway, watching with increasing interest as a tall, strong woman towered over the man, glaring down at him.

she was smirking. you found yourself smirking too.

"what did i tell you about hitting women in my bar?" she rasped out. the man on the pavement beneath her pissed himself, his pants quickly growing dark as he shook in fear. the crowd he was with had dispersed, but a few eyes were watching and shaking their heads in admonishment of the man.

"i-i'm not in the bar sevika, we're outside!" the pathetic man cried. the woman above him laughed, and you watched in fascination as a blade slowly descended from her red poncho. he squealed.

"i swear i won't do it again!" he tried, scrambling away on his back as he tried to evade the woman. she smiled down at him, chuckling as she shook her head.

"no." she said. "you won't."

in a flash, the blade at her side swung down across his neck.

your stomach growled as the smell of blood drifted over to where you hid, and your loins stirred as you watched the woman keep eye contact with the man until his sputtering and twitching halted, and he died. she spat beside him, then turned to walk back into the bar. her bar, apparently.

when no one was looking, you quickly drug the body to the alleyway. his neck was tattered, but you were able to get a pretty decent feed by draining his arms at his wrists.

and after cleaning your mouth, relishing in the warmth quickly pumping through your body, you entered the bar, and spent the rest of the night in a dark corner, your eyes trained on the strong woman as she made rounds around the bar, occasionally pausing to join a game of cards or drink a whiskey.

since then, you've spent almost every night watching her.

you've learned a lot about her since you started watching her. like how in public, while she's at work, she carries herself around with a straight spine and no-nonsense attitude. but while she's at home, alone in her apartment, she's softer. she likes reading, especially romance novels. and she trades out her whiskey for a sweet white wine when she's really into a book.

she sleeps on her side, facing the door like she's ready for the first sound of danger. there have been a few times that she's left her window cracked and you've carefully floated in through her curtains, hovering beside her as you watch her breathe.

you've touched her once, running your finger down the pretty blue scars on her face. she had shifted and murmured, but hadn't woken up, seemingly not finding your presence threatening.

she smells incredibly fucking tantalizing.

not in the way humans usually smell attractive-- like blood and sweat and life. no, she smells better. she smells warm.

warm like whiskey and vanilla wraps for her cigarillos. warm like the brown sugar body wash she uses, warm like the wool of her favorite poncho.

you swore to yourself you wouldn't act on your attraction. you swore to yourself you'd just watch-- not interact.

but then, one night as you were watching sevika eat a cold, lonely dinner in her apartment, she broke down into tears.

your heart broke. you almost revealed yourself to her, just to wrap her up in your arms and press a kiss to her head.

and when she went to sleep that night, you just had to do something to make her feel a little better.

you quickly rushed down the street to the convenience store down the street, and bought the biggest bag of cheesy chips you could find. (you've watched the woman back away cheesy chips like she was preparing for hibernation-- you knew she'd like them.)

you left them on her welcome mat.

(and though you weren't there to see it, the next morning while sevika was leaving for work and she tripped over the bag, she stared at them in confusion for about three minutes, before a soft, sweet smile pulled up at the corners of her lips.)

the next night, when you came back to watch her through her window, you were thrilled to find the bag of chips half empty and sitting on her counter.

since then, you've given up on any and all semblance that you wouldn't interact with the woman.

your gifts have gotten increasingly intense.

they started with little snacks and trinkets left on her doorstep. but after the first time you saw her reaction, a little happy smile when she opened the door to a chocolate candy bar, your heart soared, and you gave up on keeping your gifts casual.

you started leaving bottles of her favorite whiskey.

then, the wine she sneaks when she's alone.

she was hesitant to open it. it sat on her counter for a week, like she was suspicious of the gift. but, eventually, she gave in and cracked the bottle open.

once she got used to her bottles, you took it up another notch. flowers from time to time. ointments and balms for all the cuts and bruises she's always coming home with. scented candles for her home, more blankets for her bed. (she's always shivering.)

one day you notice the shoelaces in her boots are fraying and old. so you bring her new ones.

one evening, you watch as she finished her smutty novel, then pout at her bookshelves when she realizes she's already read everything else on it. you bought her a series she didn't own yet.

you've even taken to getting dolled up before your nightly visits to her apartment, like she'll see you.

you feel ridiculous each time you apply your body butter and lay down your baby hairs just to watch a woman who doesn't know you exist sleep for a few hours, but you can't help yourself from the compulsion.

it's only when you start using her bodywash scent in your shower so you can always smell a bit like her that you finally admit to yourself that you might be a little bit in love with the woman.

just a little bit. (right?)

you start reading her romance novels in your free time, renting them out from the library and tearing through them in hours.

you're thrilled to find that all of them happen to feature two female leads.

you're also struck by the fact that her favorites-- the ones she reaches for time and time again-- all feature some sort of love letter confession.

so you make a plan.

it goes like this:

on week one, you start signing your presents with a simple "your secret admirer."

on week two, you leave a rose with every offering you bring.

(sevika keeps them all, hanging them upside down from her window so they preserve themselves.)

on week three, you start adding little notes to your gifts.

"your smile takes my breath away" (even though you don't really breathe anymore.)

"i hope silco doesn't piss you off today" (even though he pisses her off every day.)

"i wish i could sleep beside you every night" (even though you don't need sleep. you'd just like to hold her, protect her from whatever she's so scared of.)

and then, on week four, you decide to give her a letter. a full blown, totally honest confession about everything she's made you feel these past few months.

only-- something happens.

the night before you're meant to deliver the letter on her front mat, you feed off of a street rat. rat blood isn't nearly as satisfying as human blood, but you like to avoid actual murder when you can.

but this rat must have been poisoned, because you wake up with lead in your stomach and a hangover you haven't had since you turned.

you've accidentally ingested rat poison before. and while nothing can technically kill you, a whole lot of shit can make you horrifically sick until the blood works it's way out of your system.

so you have to put the plan on hold for a week.

on day one, you just lie in bed in agony.

on day two, you start shivering.

on day three, you manage to vomit up whatever of the blood remains in your stomach.

and today, day four, you wake up crying.

you miss sevika. as stupid as it sounds, she's been the most entertaining part of your life in... centuries.

and you can't see her. and you can't give her your letter. because you pass out each time you try to walk farther from the bed to the bathroom.

you groan at the ceiling as your stomach rumbles again.

"being a vampire fucking sucks!" you cry to your cat. she purrs in your lap and you sigh. "i can't eat food, i can't go in the sun, i've got all these stupid heightened senses-- and what's the point of being immortal if i can still get fucking sick?" you cry. your cat opens one eye to glare at you for interrupting her nap, before she rises and jumps down from your bed, running away.

"and now you're abandoning me in my time of need!" you wail after your cat.

there's a knock at the door.

you groan as you crawl out of bed-- your body is too weak to do any sort of flying right now-- and wander into the living room.

you're certain it's a neighbor, here to yell at you again for yelling at your cat.

but when you swing open the door, you almost pass out at the sight of sevika smirking on your doorstep.

you scream, leaping backwards, quickly snatching a blanket off the couch to wrap around your three day old soiled pajamas, and then gasp when you remember you have your bonnet on.

you reach up to pull it off-- then think better of it, knowing your hair's likely a mess beneath it. you haven't taken it off in days.

"uh." you squeak. sevika smiles at you.

"hey." she says. you blink, reaching up to rub your eyes, certain this is a poison induced hallucination. it's not, apparently.

"uh." you say again. sevika chuckles, then makes to enter your apartment.

"the rule is that vampires gotta ask to come inside your home, not the other way around, right?" she asks as she steps over the threshold to your apartment. you gulp.

"uhm..." you say, backing up until your back hits a wall.

sevika looks down at herself and shrugs. "i look fine. i guess i was right." she says. you squeak, and she smirks up at you. "i've missed you, y'know. got used to your little gifts." she says.

you gulp and blink again, trying to clear the apparition before you. sevika remains.

"today's the fourth day in a row i haven't heard from my secret admirer-- i got worried for you." she says.

you clear your throat and search for words. nothing comes up. eventually, you manage to say something, a shaky, nervous, "h-how?"

sevika grins.

"c'mon. i'm second in command to the eye of zaun, babe, i got eyes and ears everywhere."

"w-when--?" you try again. sevika laughs.

"since your first gift. i knew i felt someone watching me outside my window, i felt like i was going fucking crazy! then you left those cheesy chips, and i realized maybe whoever was watching me wasn't a threat." she says.

you squeak again, and sevika giggles.

"plus, i caught you a couplea times." she says. "you're not as stealthy as you think you are."

you pass out.

when you wake up, sevika's sitting on your couch, your head in her lap, your cat in yours. she smiles down at you. "welcome back." she says. you groan.

"this is humiliating." you mumble as you try to sit up. sevika keeps you pinned to her lap with a hand to your shoulder and you're too weak to fight her off.

"it's cute." she says with a shrug.

"i've been stalking you!" you say. she just laughs again.

"yeah, but you're cute. and harmless. and-- i'm not sure, but i've read a couple vampire romances-- isn't this your freaky way of courting me?" she asks. you groan at the cheesy wording but nod anyways.

"yeah." you mumble. sevika just chuckles.

it's quiet for a few minutes, and then sevika reaches down to grab your hand. "well..." she says. you blink up at her in confusion. "are you gonna court me or what?" she asks. you blink.

"wha-- seriously?!" you ask. she nods and shrugs.

"gimmie your best shot." she says. you smile, the horrible sickness in your body fading as a giddy feeling starts bubbling up in your stomach. you rise from the couch, rushing to your room to grab the letter, then running back into the living room, thrusting the letter into her hands. "i know you like corny love letters-- it's in all your favorite books." you admit shyly as you hand it to her. she grins.

"you read my books?"

"not yours. copies from the library." you say, shrugging. sevika smiles, then opens the letter.

it's quiet as her eyes scan the pages, the same little furrow in her brow coming up that always appears when she reads.

you bite back a gasp. you've never seen it so close-up before. she's so fucking beautiful, you have to clench your hands at your side to keep from reaching out and touching her.

when she's done, she looks up from your letter with tears in her eyes. you gulp.

"are you okay?" you ask. she swipes her eyes and nods.

"y-yeah." she whispers, a little waver in her voice. you melt, sinking back down on the couch beside her and wrapping your arms around her like you've been dying to do for months now.

sevika laughs in your arms, wrapping hers back around you then hissing when she feels how cold you are. you giggle.

sevika pulls away after a moment, her eyes locked on your lips.

"so... tell me about those fangs of yours." she says. you blink.

"w-what about them?" you ask.

"like, are they always descended or can you control it or...?" she asks. you gulp and shrug.

"i can control it." you say. she smiles.

"so, if i was to kiss you right now, you wouldn't slice my lip off by accident?" she asks. you laugh disbelievingly, then you scoot away from her.

"i--i'm sick." you say. she laughs.

"yeah, i gathered." she says, pointing at your wrinkled clothes and the bags under your eyes. "vampire sickness can't transfer to humans though." she says. you scoff.

"how do you know?" you ask. she shrugs and chuckles.

"i don't, i just really want to kiss you."

you gulp, a shaky sigh escaping your lips, before you tentatively lean forward and press your lips against sevika's.

she hums against you, and then she reaches out, grabs you by your pajama shirt, and hauls you into her lap. you squeak against her lips, and she licks into your mouth, moaning against you.

when she pulls away, you gulp at the powerful, fast pounding of her heart that you can hear from beside her.

"woah." you whisper. she smiles. "so... is that a yes?" you ask, referring to your letter. sevika snorts and lets out a bright laugh, and your heart fucking melts.

"definitely a yes, baby." she says, swooping in to kiss you again.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki

[blizzardheart12]

Descendants headcanon/theory || Hades

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷︶˚.꒷꒥꒷︶꒷꒷︶꒷꒥꒷︶˚.꒷꒥꒷︶꒷

Theory: Hades was trapped in a mortal form BEFORE the creation of the Isle of the Lost

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷︶˚.꒷꒥꒷︶꒷꒷︶꒷꒥꒷︶˚.꒷꒥꒷︶꒷

In the first Isle of the Lost novel, Mal’s dad was only mentioned once and referred to as a “pathetic, soft human” or something of the like. It’s clear now that this description was placed there intentionally to throw readers off so that the big Hades reveal would come as a complete shock to everyone once Descendants 3 was released, but given the fact that Mal supposedly knew who her real father was the whole time, what if that detail wasn’t totally inaccurate after all and Maleficent hadn’t really been lying?

If you’re familiar with Rick Riordan’s books, you’ll know that in the Percy Jackson series, the god Dionysus was punished by Zeus for flirting with a nymph and was forced to spend a century as a head counselor for Camp Half-Blood, and he wasn’t allowed to consume any alcohol during that time. And then in the Trials of Apollo series, the god Apollo was turned into a mortal teenager as a punishment and had to earn back his godly form by completing a series of difficult tasks. My theory is that Hades simply screwed up just like the other gods and had to put in his time in order to earn back his true form, albeit not completely without magic. He is still one of the “Big Three,” after all.

(Also, it tickles me how much he acted like Mr. D in D4. “Yeah, someone should help her.” What a goof lol)

This is why we see him as a teenager in Rise of Red and then as a grown man in Descendants 3, because his punishment was probably that he had to start out as a kid and then age like a normal human being. The other theory is that he still had the ability to change his appearance and used it to disguise himself as a teenage boy, where it wore off the second he got stuck on the Isle. I prefer the former theory— it’s kind of cute to imagine him growing up alongside his friends, and perhaps that was part of whatever lesson Zeus was trying to teach him about life or something. That’s why I mentioned Dionysus’s prohibition earlier, because just as that punishment temporarily forced him not to indulge in his own abilities, Hades’ punishment did the same thing. The former had to be sober, and the latter had to leave the shadows and live a life. Who knows? It would make a hell of a good story.

It just so happens that during this little time-out of his, Hades decided to attend Merlin Academy— or perhaps Zeus forced him to do that too— where he met and fell in love with Maleficent and then later on got himself imprisoned on the Isle with no real power to stop that from happening (I’m sure his brothers got a real kick out of that). Then of course, Mal was born, so that punishment definitely had some upsides. I’m fairly certain that Hades’ godly punishment ended (or got cut short) just after the Isle’s barrier came down. Maybe Zeus wanted to see Hades become a good dad or something, which is a little ironic, but whatever.

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷︶˚.꒷꒥꒷︶꒷꒷︶꒷꒥꒷︶˚.꒷꒥꒷︶꒷

Anyway, that’s my theory! My only defense as to why I referenced Percy Jackson so much is because the series is also published by Disney, so it could technically be canon, at least in some aspects. Let me know what you think! Also I’d love to hear other people’s ideas as to how Hades got himself punished in the first place.

[balillee]

had to turn back to tumblr after a year of not using it to hate on the new atla adaptation

a few things

speedrunning through half of the story with the fire nation family is not a good idea, actually. lu ten was introduced far too early, and with it you delve into iroh's backstory, motivations and true character before you've even fully developed the whole 'silly old spiritual man who prefers tea and hanging out with his nephew over hunting down an 11-year old air nomad'. the lu ten funeral scene was fine as an addition, but it's not something for book 1. learning about lu ten is something we do in book 2 as it compliments the developing relationship between iroh and zuko with the fire nation as a whole. also, iroh seems a lot less cool. the show commits the grievous literary sin of always telling rather than showing, and by continuously telling us 'he's the famed general iroh, dragon of the west' you're not actually accomplishing anything. let him redirect some lightning you fucking cowards.

azula also seemed to exist for no reason. any of the correspondences to azula from zhao could have bypassed her entirely and could have gone straight to ozai or even the fire sages. she exists in season 1 purely to rush through explaining zuko and iroh far too early. the show exists as a guideline. FOLLOW THE GUIDELINE. THE GUIDELINE IS GOOD. EVERYONE KNOWS THE GUIDELINE IS GOOD. also make her fire blue. cowards

aang does not waterbend for the entire season, which means the window of opportunity for him to learn to bend the other elements before the arrival of sozin's comet is even shorter than in the original show. even the original aang, who the netflix adaptation changed because he was 'too childish and always goofing off instead of getting to the point' understood his responsibilities to learn the elements better than this new live action version - part of the reason for the gang to get to the northern water tribe was to find aang a teacher (not just katara), master pakku, because katara was not capable of teaching him at her novice waterbending level but even so they were still seen practicing together on multiple occasions.

this brings me to my next point. WHERE THE FUCK IS JEONG JEONG. aang in the original series understood the urgency of defeating the firelord before sozin's comet after speaking to roku very early on, not as late as depicted in the adaptation. currently, the gang don't even know that they're on a time crunch, and yet still the show refuses to let them take their time by going on side adventures. this leads into the episode where aang meets jeong jeong and tries to learn to firebend before he's even started earthbending at all, because he's still scared that he only has a year to master the elements. he burns katara while trying, which is the reason she learned she had the power to heal with her waterbending, we see how fucking sick jeong jeong is at firebending for the first time during the fight with zhao, and aang swears off learning firebending at all, which is one of his main points of conflict leading all the way into book 3. if we skip that whole episode, we have skipped meeting one of the members of the order of the white lotus. the show could think it's slick by omitting him to just have iroh as the white lotus' firebender, but that's possibly one of the worst changes they've made. the deserter was not a filler episode.

i know a lot of people were talking about this before the show even came out, but sokka is not sokka. in book 1, sokka is three things - funny, overconfident and sexist. in the live adaptation, he is kind of one of those three things. part of why sokka's arc is one of my personal favourites from the original show is the stark change you see from the start to the end of his story - he believes himself a leader but has no real tactical or combative experience despite telling all the fighters and warriors he meets about how impressive he is. and then at the end of the show he is a definitively strong leader, shown by leading the assault on the fire nation armada - his team being two of the show's most competent female characters, who he trusts and respects with his life. by omitting these traits from sokka's character, you remove a big part of why he's even there in the first place - his arc's beginning allows him to become the fearless leader that lead his team to defeating the fire nation army.

i also hate that aang meets monk gyatso in the spirit world. a big part of aang's conflict about running away is that there exists nobody in the world who can tell him that what happened to the air nomads was not his fault, and that there was nothing aang could do to stop it if he was there. the new adaptation decides against the inclusion of one of aang's primary internal conflicts by changing the 'running away from his responsibilities as the avatar because he's a terrified child' to 'getting some air', and then throws in meeting the spirit of monk gyatso to tell him all of these things that aang needs to learn on his own. once again, telling rather than showing.

and finally, my least favourite change - the agni kai. part of the reason why i personally think the agni kai is so significant to zuko's story is the fact that zuko intentionally refuses to fight. in the adaptation, zuko fights back against his father, and his father scars him simply because zuko hesitates. in the original series, zuko bows to his father and pleads for mercy, and refuses to fight at all, and that is when it cuts away to iroh and azula's very differing reactions to the altercation, zuko screaming in the background. the setting also irritates me, because in the original, the agni kai was a public spectacle for hundreds to see in an ominous chamber, while in the new show it looked like just a regular old family gathering in the sun. zuko's adaptation scar i also hate because it doesn't even look like a scar. it looks like a birthmark, or at best, a black eye. if you hadn't seen the original, you would only know that it's a scar because the show tells you that it's a scar. zuko's scar in the animated series is a definite physical deformation of his face, his face looks red and raw, and his eye is smaller likely due to how the tissue healed, and as the show goes on you learn that the severity of his physical scars reflect the severity of his emotional ones. the original show does a brilliant job at showing how, just through the scar and the banishment alone, that despite zuko's beliefs, his father has betrayed him time and time again.

[v0rewhxre]

QUICK SHORT THOUGHTS (MDNI)

If you remember how back in the One Direction Days, everyone would create those short blurbs about each of the boys? Well here's one with the Bad Omens boys!

MDNI!!!! 18+++++++

CW: SMUTTTTTT: f masturbation, mentions of male masturbation, dom/sub talk, talks of p in v, talks of rope play, talks of handcuffs, some fluffyness (Let me know if I missed any!)

This is my first go at writing something smutty in a long long time so go easy on me :)

How each boy would interact while you masturbated in front of them:

Noah: Noah is a little bit devious when it comes to allowing you to masturbate. On one hand, he LOVES that you feel sexually free enough to masturbate in front of him. He loves the confidence you have in doing it, despite the sheepish smiles you give him when you catch his eyes. That man STARES right at what you're doing with your pussy. When he's in a sub mood, you make him beg to look at your throbbing pussy. And boy does he whimperrrrr when you finally allow him. When he's more dominant he'll tell you what to do. He punishes you by rubbing his own cock, which he knows you get slightly jealous of. Why does he need to use his hand when he has you. It becomes a competition, who moans the loudest, who is going to cum first. It turns into Noah pulling you to the edge of the bed and fucking you doggy style. After you both finish, he helps you with aftercare which turns into him munching on you for a bit.

Folio: Folio is a very sweet boy, and he is submissive to your every will. You have him handcuffed and tied up, forcing him to watch as you ride your dildo in front of him. "You wish this was your cock love, right?" "Could you make me feel this good, love?". He politely says, "yes ma'am" with quick nods. His cock is so angry and hard, bobbing with every moan you let slip. He has tears streaming down his face, watching as you enjoy your toy more than he thinks you enjoy him... which isn't correct. Eventually, you guilty conscious takes over and you decide to make love to Folio instead. Riding him slow and sensually, kissing away his tears when you finally let him cum. You press your forehead against his as you finally allow yourself to finish. Once you're done , you'd both get in the bath and goof around with the fishing rod you bought him (which is a toy that is made for 3 year olds for the bathtub).

Jolly: Jolly is a little selfish, he loves the idea that you would want to get off in front of him but why is he not involved more. He wonders if your vibrator feels better than his fingers on your clit, he also wonders how often you do this when he's not there. When you close your eyes, you better be thinking of him. He often breaks the 'don't touch, only look' rule by slowly creeping his hands to your caress your thighs. Eventually he is sitting so closely that your butt is in his lap. He is slowly rubbing his tip all around your over-stimulated and over-wet slit, he can't help but join in. He doesn't even let you cum by yourself, he's fucking the shit outta you. You both finish at the same time, ending the night lounging around naked playing guitar together.

Nicholas: Let's be real Nicholas is a LOVER, but he also has quite a dominant side about him. He would lovingly watch you, not watch you play with your pussy or the way you use your toy, but intently stare into your eyes which drives you CRAZY (in many ways)! "Nicky look at how wet I am!" "Nicky, look at how well I play with my pussy". But he wouldn't, he would just stare at you with love which honestly made everything feel much more intense. He would watch you cum, and then fuck you slowly and punishingly afterwards. He would edge you until you were practically screaming, begging for some type of release. Only when he was ready to cum would he allow you to go over the edge with him. You both end up a sweaty mess with tangled hair. You would both fall asleep in each other's arms, Nicholas' lips pressed into the top of your head.

[queenvernage]

Which rangers are the closest to being himbos in your opinion?

okay, i have given this much thought. arguably too much thought. these aren't in any real order besides to say danny is #1.

danny delgado: THIS IS THE HIMBO, EVERYONE! danny is the sweetest, kindest, gentlest man alive and he has absolutely no idea how big and strong he is. he's the st. bernard that thinks he's a lap dog. he's a little confused all the time, but he's got love in his heart. he apologizes to doorways when he bumps into them because he lacks the self-awareness of the broadness of his shoulders.

koda: he's not that stupid, but he's very silly and has his moments. he's a simple man. he just wants a burger, for the love of everything, GIVE HIM A BURGER SO WE CAN SEE HIM SMILE!! he's also so gosh darn strong... and we stan a king who's kind to everyone, especially kids and animals. koda basically has it all <3

rocky desantos: he's just here for a good time!! i trust him with my life, on the basis of… well, look at that smile :) he's also such a sweetheart… and don't even get me started on the golden retriever energy. he not only needs you to like him, but if you just met, you better believe you're one of his new best friends. i just feel like he's the type to have "volunteer firefighter and full time optimist" in his insta bio.

dominic hargan: dom tries really really hard and that's endearing. fran saw the vision, she saw it all! and she was so right!! yeah, maybe he does goof around! maybe he wouldn't know what an emotionally intelligent response was if it smacked him in the (very cute) face! but by god, he would (and did) physically throw himself in harm's way to protect someone who he just met and then totally miss the part where that person fell in love with him for just being him. himbo behavior.

conner mcknight: so here's the thing about conner... what he lacks in kindness on occasion (he has a character development arc!) and beefiness to an extent, he more than makes up for nearly in tallness alone. and that's not even to mention how silly dumb he can be... and that face?? there's not an ounce of self-awareness, except for about how pretty he is.

dustin brooks: no thoughts! just motocross, throwing an oily towel over his shoulder after a long day's work, and trying to make his friends happy!!! dustin is such a pure soul. he's not exactly beefy. but in his defense... it's hard to find a prettier, stupider boy that trusts everyone around him with absolutely no reason to do so. i love when he's saying something so ridiculous and everyone is just looking at him like "um what?" and he slowly picks up on the fact that they don't know what he's talking about... gets me everytime

wes collins: here we have a perfect specimen of the himbo subspecies, "rich boy himbo". his dumbness is mostly based on the fact that he's never really had to solve a problem in his life before the age of 20. what is laundry? you have to cook for yourself every day? there are problems money can't solve? but nevertheless, he is kind, he's generous, and maybe he's not maxed on all stats but!!! he's well rounded.

honorable mentions: xander bly, flynn mcallistair, troy burrows, leo corbett

[questintheskies]

1. CM Punk says people in AEW felt “betrayed” when he visited WWE Raw backstage in May 2023.

2. CM Punk confirms that no one came to pick him up at the airport for AEW All In, didn’t cry about it, calls it irresponsible.

3. CM Punk says he told Tony Khan that “this place [AEW] is a fucking joke, you're a clown”. Then he quit AEW.

4. “I don't like the drama but the truth is the truth. He's not a boss, he's a nice guy. That's a detriment to the company [AEW] but it's not my company." — CM Punk when asked about Tony Khan

5. CM Punk talking about AEW: Says it’s not a real or sustainable business, not about selling tickets, not about drawing money. Having good matches maybe which there’s nothing wrong with. Will always exist as long as Tony Khan keeps pumping money into it.

6. “If you're more than happy with some goof saying you had a 5 star match & the building is a quarter full…then we're not in the same business." — CM Punk

7. CM Punk was a consultant to Tony Khan in AEW, working with 2 contracts. One was a talent contract, the other was the consultant contract.

8. CM Punk believed AEW was an alternative to what WWE was. But 90% of the problems he had or identified about AEW were the very things that made AEW different…

He's happy that AEW exists because it allows wrestlers to make more money, but then also says "guaranteed money kind of ruined pro wrestling. If you had to get paid off the house, things would be a lot different"

9. CM Punk on the infamous Hangman Page promo before DoN.

Says Hangman went off the script, and that he wanted to double leg him and “murder” him on live TV if it wasn't for his professionalism. Says he went to TK and the lawyers to get the situation fixed.

10. CM Punk says nobody in AEW talked to him for 6 months after Brawl Out, he had to sort his tricep surgery by himself. He says the difference between getting injured in both companies is “night and day”

11. “I don’t regret my time there (AEW). Im just brutally honest about some things — And it’s done.

I hope they’re happy, I known I am. I would like to leave it at that. I understand fans and the tribalism, I’m a Blackhawks, I’m a Chicago Cubs fan, so I will always troll and needle White Sox fans, or Blues fans, or Predator’s you know?

But some of the shit was so outlandish, talking about my Dog and all this awful stuff”

12. CM Punk says before joining AEW, he was close to re-joining WWE, even before being on WWE Backstage.

He said they had a handshake deal in place but then it didn’t happen. He says Nick Khan lead the charge even before Khan joined WWE as he was with CAA.

13. CM Punk says stories of him being violent backstage are overblown and not true. (Earlier he admitted to choking a co-worker backstage and wanting to murder Hangman Adam Page for going off script)

14. CM Punk didn't have a non-compete clause after being fired from AEW.

15. Samoa Joe told him to stop acting up at All In Wembley, so he did. Then he turned to Khan and told him, “This place is fucking joke, man. You’re a clown. I quit.” Joe and Jerry Lynn came to his room and got him to do the PPV opening match. He said he was “too fired up” then and now rehashing it, and will probably regret talking about it, but “that’s what happened.”

16. He says he wrestled the match for Joe, referee Paul Turner, Lynn who was the agent on the match, and the fans. But he knew it was his last time wrestling Joe, and in the company.

17. He hasn’t spoken to Khan since backstage at Wembley when he quit. He didn’t do anything to make him fear for his life, as Khan said when announcing Punk’s firing on Dynamite, but Punk sayd “he is who he is.” He believes there was a “concerted effort to try to slander [him] and try to ruin [his] character.”

18. Spreading “rumors and lies and bullshit” was the genesis of all his issues at AEW. He thinks it might have been jealousy or envy, but doesn’t understand why anyone would try to dim the star of the company’s top guy.

19. Punk says his remarks at the post-All In scrum weren’t planned, but when he saw “reporters” there who are friends with other wrestlers and who wrote things about him without checking with him, it set him off. He does say it’s in his “top three CM Punk promos”, though.

20. There was nothing it the scrum that Khan hadn’t heard before. Punk doesn’t think he can talk about what happened afterwards. Confirms he is referring to Brawl Out, but says he “didn’t have to sign an NDA for anything I did wrong.” He has nothing he wanted to hide, but Khan wanted him to sign an NDA — he doesn’t know why.

21. As to why he did agree to come back, “I have a lot of friends there”, and Khan wasn’t going to let him go. Rather than sit at home, he thought he’d try to “get some guys together and have some fun shows.”

22. Asked if there’s anything he’s proud of from his time in AEW, he says he made a lot of friends and got to a lot of “cool shit” — specifically mentioning getting to work with Sting. “I think the positives outweigh the negatives”.

23. He talks about attending an indie show recently and telling someone that what happens there works at that level, as evidenced by it selling out an arcade bar, “but that shit doesn’t fly on national television — I think that’s being proven right now.”

24. He’s proud of the work he did with MJF, and thinks MJF’s future is bright as he’s immensely talented. He wasn’t great when he catered to the “niche internet audience”.

25. Punk doesn’t think he’ll ever bury the hatchet with Colt Cabana. He says Cabana approached him at some point before the All Out ‘22 incident, but he told him he wouldn’t speak to him without a lawyer present.

[moonshynecybin]

I just saw your post about vale and Marc out with friends in the fco au and you said they hadn’t slept together since the photos, at what point in this universe do they sleep together again?

if we check the lovely timeline that bestie @kingofthering made we can actually assign the EXACT date of july 1, 2016... right after the their date to a fancy gala in paris.... which is a level of specificity i DO find funny. like pencil that in my guys. tarps off lets go.

but: to enter my mind palace!!!! essentially. to set the stage as it were. marc spends the preceding weeks to their gala date going absolutely ham on the gay chicken of it all... letting his freak flag fly. he is OVER being sad about this (he is. so sad lol) and has decided well. if im going to have to pretend to be dating the man that broke my heart that im still in love with. i AM at least going to shamelessly take advantage of this situation. like a true slut <3 and basically he finds escalating excuses to have category 5 PDA events with vale. again: it is jogging across the paddock to neck after a podium. it is tucking himself under vale's arm ANY chance he gets with the most smug little twink face on. looking up at him under his lashes. shirtless vacation pics on vale's yacht where he spends a LOT of time doing a corny silhouette sunset kiss pics but he keeps forgetting to take the pic because his tongue is physically in vale's mouth. and at the beginning vale WAS initially like. damn marc's not engaging with the acting part of this :( and NOW hes just soooo confused and horny bc marc is SENDINGGGGG IT. two steps from dry humping and absolutely obsessed... wet dreams level 5000. marc looking at vale like what? this is what we're supposed to do :) (HE IS HEARTBROKEN!!!!) so all of that is going on pre-gala. they are KEYED UP lmao

and then they have a lovely date that uh. doesnt feel like pr at all. its lowkey. theres not a lot of cameras. they arent the most famous people there so they get mostly left alone for the first time in literally fucking MONTHS. and they just get to. enjoy each other's company. people watch. be a little cunty while people watching which is one of the great love languages. goof off. scarf down expensive ass food. do dumb bits and be annoying. like they make each other laughhhhhhh and theyre in PARIS and the eiffel tower is lighting up and marc's head is on vale's shoulder and its SUCH a good night and its. they almost feel like its real. like this is what their lives could actually be like. and marc's heart is in his throat and suddenly theyre outside of vale's hotel room door and no one can see them so they dont have to pretend. but vale kisses him anyway.

[shamelessliarkickapow]

Arrvatarr! The Last Arrbender!

a ridiculous zutara pirate AU rated M (fer me Mateys) Read chapter 1 on AO3!

Chapter 2, part 1/3

“Promise me you’ll jolly that guy’s roger or I’m gonna make a whole big thing out of it, I swear.”

Katara frowned in focus and continued steadily soothing the blisters down on Toph’s grubby hand. Across the deck of the steamer, Sokka and Suki were working something out with the old general while the prince stood behind him with his arms crossed over his bare chest, silently glaring.

Katara felt the heat of that glare on her from time to time. She was making a point of not looking back.

It seemed like a bad idea to have him just loose like this, as if his honor could be trusted as well as a physical shackle. So even though she did not look at him, she was watching him from the corner of her eye.

Because any moment he might leap into action.

Not because the way he stood so stiff and straight with his wide stance and his strong arms folded made him look especially… commanding. That didn’t interest her at all.

“That guy is a prince of the Fire Nation.” Katara scoffed to show just how ridiculous the notion of jollying his anything was. “Uh, thanks but no thanks.”

“What’s the big deal?”

“There’s this war-?”

“He’s not the war. He’s just a guy. You think he’s hot-”

“I never said that!”

“No, what you said-” Her smirk had widened into a full grin now. “-was he’s a thing that belongs to you.”

Katara felt heat beat in her face at the same time the prince turned his glare on her again. She scowled at Toph and pretended he did not exist. “I obviously meant in a kidnapper-kidnappee way.”

“Mm-hm. Is that why you were touching his royal scion?”

“His chin, it was just his chin!” Katara sputtered. “As- an intimidation tactic! I was intimidating him!”

“Yeah, haha, he seemed real intimidated, Sweetness. He nearly jumped you.”

“I could have stopped him.”

“But you didn’t want to, did you? I’ll bet you wanted to feel his big, hot, muscly- What’s he look like? Moves athletic, feels heavy, so he’s gotta have some nice, thick muscles-”

With her free hand, she gripped at the air, squeezing phantom biceps. Beyond her, Katara caught the narrowed eyes of the prince. She swatted Toph’s arm down.

“Knock it off! He can see you,” she hissed. Toph just smirked harder, a knowing twitch to her eyebrows.

“What, and now you’re shy all of a sudden? You wanna pretend you didn’t want him to try a take-down during the fight? I saw how close you let him get. I felt you getting all excited-”

“There was fire flying around! It wasn’t the kind of excitement you’re talking about.”

“Nah. I’ve felt you fight tons of firebenders. I remember when you fought that Jet guy. This was a different kind of excitement. You were totally having fun.”

She kept squirming around as she talked and it was making it impossible for Katara to heal her stupid blisters. The dredging-up of her long-time ex was annoying but not at all surprising. Toph had been permanently installed in her business since they encountered Jet and his freedom fighters way back in the Earth Kingdom, when Katara had finally gotten to confront him about everything that had happened when they’d been together the year before... That fight had been cathartic but definitely not fun.

The prince was not watching her, so she took the briefest opportunity to watch him watch his uncle. He seemed mollified, as if whatever negotiation the old man was making was going well. Sokka was nodding and stroking his chin in one of his postures intended to convey wisdom and reasonableness. Suki blinked slowly at him, not entirely impressed with whatever he had settled on but willing to back him up out of fondness.

Probably should not have left those two in charge…

Sometimes it gave Katara a weird ache in her chest when she watched how good they were to each other. She liked being on her own - had liked it ever since Jet - but sometimes she wanted what Sokka had: someone who had his back even when he was being a goof.

The way that old general was smiling, all cheer and shrugging good humor, did not look like a prisoner being told the very firm rules of their probation…

The prince caught her looking at them and met her eye boldly, evidently not so interested in hearing and remembering Sokka’s rules either. He seemed far more interested in trying to pick a fight with her (or something) through the power of his stare alone. Katara rolled her eyes away from him and pinned Toph’s hand on her knee to finish her work.

“Fine. It was a fun fight, okay? Especially when I won and mounted him on the wall like a trophy.”

Toph snickered her appreciation.

“But a fun fight and a little-” She tipped her nose upward. “-slightly provocative banter doesn’t add up to jollying. Especially with a guy who was raised in privilege to wage war on the rest of the world. I mean! His literal ancestors-”

“You’re going too deep, Katara. Whatever he comes from, he’s here now, and he’s your prisoner-”

“He’s technically all of our prisoner.”

“-so after you pound him in the rematch, you should strip him down and survey your conquests.”

“Toph!”

“Just appraise the goods! Doesn’t mean you have to crack his teacup, but if it’s nice-”

“Toph!’

“We’re pirates! I thought that meant lustily seizing life, booty, and boys!”

Katara huffed and focused on finishing the healing, though whether it was the sentiment in general or the particular booty in question that had her blushing, she wasn’t sure.

Toph had always been a little… racy - she claimed it was for authenticity - but in their entire year as pirates, this had never actually come up before. They only ever targeted Fire Nation ships, and Fire Nation soldiers and sailors were not generally an enticing demographic for purposes beyond robbery. Furthermore, the officers in charge were pretty much the worst people. A prince was likely to continue that trend.

So it was entirely new and unexpected for Katara to find her eyes drawn again to the prince, who was presently scowling at Suki as she sweet-sharp explained the rules to him. From across the deck, Katara couldn’t hear the words she said, but she could tell by the look on his face that he was being told what ‘good behavior’ did and did not entail. He was standing even straighter than before, his folded arms flexing like he was holding himself back from something.

He really did have some nice, thick muscles…

She realized abruptly that Sokka was watching her, his eyebrows furrowing high over squinting, dubious eyes. She could read it on his face.

Really, Katara? This guy?

And in a flash she spotted the old man, who had followed Sokka’s look to her. It was no more than a glance, but his stifled smile was immediate as he dropped his gaze briefly to the deck and then turned an overly-earnest look on his nephew.

Nearer at hand, Toph let out a huff of her own and opened her mouth to be annoying some more, but she was cut off.

“Lusty seizing sounds like pirate behavior to me.”

This unbiased opinion had come from a soldier tucked under a blanket of steel near where they sat. He was evidently blinded by the helmet twisted down over his eyes, but his pointy mustache and beard tuft were perfectly visible around his thoughtfully frowning mouth. He shrugged as much as possible in his restraints.

“Pirates do what they want.”

“Thank you, random defeated guy,” Toph said cheerfully. “See, Katara? It’s kind of your responsibility as a pirate to uphold a certain standard of behavior. So the responsible thing to do here is to follow your impulse, drag that sullen wench to your cabin, and ride his royal scion to the moon and back.”

Katara was still peering a little distastefully down at the soldier… soldiers, actually, who had just been quietly listening to this conversation. And evidently believed now was the time to weigh in.

“Your scary kid friend makes some pretty convincing points,” a firebender lying on his face said, muffled into the deck.

“You work hard,” another soldier said. “You should really do something just for you.”

“And you deserve nice things. What’s nicer than a prince?”

“Nobody asked you! You’re all teetering dangerously on the captive/victim threshold until you safely launch in that river boat, so watch yourselves,” Katara snapped.

Toph just chuckled. “Yeah, what’s it to you losers anyway?”

“Prince Zuko is a good and honorable man,” the first soldier said. “I’m proud to have served under him. I wish the best for him. You know, as best as being kidnapped by pirates can go.”

“He works hard, too. It’ll be good for him to take a break from the rigors of command.”

“Great man. Awful temper,” added yet another - the only firebender who had managed to get his helmet on, presently hanging upside down from the wall of the tower. His metallic voice sounded faintly exasperated. “Definitely needs his scion ridden to the moon.”

Toph was all-out laughing. Katara was fuming. The face-down firebender carried on.

“If you get him going, he’ll probably take you there a few times. He’s got a lot of discipline. And stamina… And rage. Angi, hadn’t really thought about it, but-”

“What is this?” Katara demanded. “The FNS Wingman? Do you all just sail around trying to get your prince laid?”

“Ravished,” Toph corrected gleefully. “Get your jargon right, Sugar Queen. You told me we don’t tolerate any namby-pamby landlubber gender typecasting in this crew. These guys are trying to get their prince ravished.”

The soldiers were silent for a beat. Then they all started talking at once.

“-not not trying-”

“-just needs a little coaxing-”

“-owe him our lives, it’s not-”

“-a strong woman to really-”

“-wasn’t so proud, he wouldn’t need to get ravished-”

Katara yanked up a puddle and cracked it in the air to shut them all up.

“What I’m gonna do to your prince,” she snarled, “is embarrass him in that rematch. But none of you will be around to see it. Toph-”

“After sunrise? Hmph.”

“Good luck - he’s a machine.”

“…just keeps fighting ‘til he wins…”

Katara continued, speaking over them. “-knock these chuckle-heads loose so they can get on their little boat and start praying they discover a new island between here and the Earth Kingdom.”

“Aye aye, Cap’n,” Toph growled.

She worked through a few stances and there was a cacophony of squealing metal as straps popped and sheets uncurled. The one helmeted firebender came down hard on that helmet. Soldiers started climbing to their feet as they were freed. Katara folded her arms over her chest and glared at all of them while Toph directed.

“Alright you buncha grog-guzzlin’ shark snacks, you heard the waterbender - get below and board the river boat. Any side-trips-” She stomped hard with one foot, leaving a small crater. “-and I’ll know. And if I have to come collect you, I won’t treat your squishy chum-sack bodies gentle like I did the first time.”

They cleared away with many a nervous glance, but Katara only felt that heat again and, unthinking, she met the prince’s yellow eyes. He watched her for a long moment, then tipped his head to the left.

Toward the east. Where the horizon was not yet lightening, but soon would.

Katara took in his unspoken threat - how much of that had he heard? - and then screwed up her own scowl and marched across the deck toward him. Unnoticed, a couple of limping soldiers paused their progress to let her pass before them, pretending not to watch from the corners of their wide eyes.

The Fire Prince tipped his chin up higher as he met her stare unflinchingly through her approach. Katara stopped about arm’s length away, no longer entirely aware of Suki and Sokka and the old man watching her. She only really saw this prince - Zuko - and the way he breathed deep and slow, the muscles of his arms and chest straining against each other.

“You should really put a shirt on,” she said.

She’d meant it to come out snappish and dismissive. Instead, her voice was quiet, sharp, suggestive. Threatening. She hadn’t really meant to do it, but she watched with sizzling satisfaction as his unscarred eye widened minutely.

“If you don’t, you might just find yourself in trouble-”

“Guys!” Aang cried as he came bounding out of the observation tower with a large instrument in his arms. “They have a tsungi horn!”

Katara met that burning yellow stare for a second longer - a second in which Toph’s suggestions tumbled slow and delicious through her mind - then took a step back.

She turned toward Aang and donned a warm smile. “That’s great, Aang! Do you know how to play?”